


Raising Ourselves

by GoodGodHenry



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Adoption, Angst, Baby Teddy - Freeform, Baby Teddy Lupin, Coming of Age, Don’t you have to just pick one side?, Family, Fluff, Forgiveness, Friendship, Gen, Growing Up, HEA, Happily Ever After, Happy Ending, House Elves, Hurt/Comfort, I think I am bisexual, Kid Fic, Post Hogwarts AU, Snape Lives, Young Father, bi?, gay?, okay, teenage father
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-23 18:44:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 30,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14338722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoodGodHenry/pseuds/GoodGodHenry
Summary: A coming of age story; 17 year old Harry adopts Teddy as he tries to recover from the horrors of the war. Little did he realize that raising Teddy would lead to an unlikely friendship.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers,
> 
> This is a tale of growing up for both Harry and Teddy with a healthy dose of familial love, friendship, and forgiveness. 
> 
> This is not Brit-Picked so please let me know if I make a glaring error.
> 
> Also, I didn’t have Teddy’s birthdate when I wrote out the first 15 chapters so that isn’t accurate (I think he’s a few months younger). 
> 
> Our story is set immediately after the Battle at Hogwarts.
> 
> Enjoy,  
> GGH

~~O-O~~

Finally alone, Harry sat down on his old bed in the Gryffindor Tower. He sealed the dorm room and charmed it to be soundproofed. His body ached, his head pulsed and throbbed. His thoughts were a jumbled mess. 

Students, teachers, Order of the Phoenix members, Aurors, and Hogsmeade residents were on the castle grounds gathering up the dead and wounded. Death Eaters, the ones still alive, were being rounded up and locked together by spells and muggle chains. 

Riddle’s deformed body lay in a small room at the front of the castle. Professor Flitwick placed enhancements over the corpse and the room. It would only be accessible by Unspeakables. 

The Great Hall had been converted into a makeshift hospital. Madame Pomfrey had put out a call for healers and they were arriving through the secured floo in the headmaster’s office. Well, headmistress’ office, now that Snape was dead. 

Snape is dead, Harry thought as the pressure behind his eyes increased. Wandlessly, he dimmed the lights and laid back on the bed. His muscles were tight as he tried to stretch out. He felt the filth coating his skin, his open wounds oozing, but he couldn’t find it in himself to bathe yet alone heal himself. 

Staring at the burgundy canopy above him, he thought, it’s over but it will never truly be over.

Not for him, not for the families and friends of the victims, not for the destroyed town of Hogsmeade. Not for the world, magical or muggle. Tom Riddle, in his quest for power and immortality, had cast a shadow on the world that would never be forgotten. 

Despite the pain, Harry wouldn’t allow himself to close his eyes. No longer holding himself stiffly, his body slowly sank into the mattress. His muscles relaxing slightly, leaving a burning sensation. 

Tom Riddle, a dark lord. Then what was Dumbledore? A light lord? Harry sneered at the thought. Dumbledore hadn’t been any better. Sacrificing people, no regard for the sanctity of life. The greater good, what good? 

Cataloging lives, from his parents who were cut down in their home, to his beloved godfather, snatched away before his eyes, to Cedric, to Fred, to Tonks, to Remus, to poor little Colin Creevey. 

And Severus Snape, the man who sacrificed his life to the cause. He gave his soul to Dumbledore while playing the perfect servant for Voldemort. It was his love for Harry’s mother that he used to save her son, to save him. 

Him, a fucking spoiled little boy who despised him at every turn. A boy who disrespected, insulted, and challenged him. A little fucking boy who called him a coward. 

Harry felt the bile coming up his throat and turned over in time to throw up over the side of his bed. Violently heaving, Harry thought he deserved worse than this. 

~~O-O~~

Sensing a presence, Harry closed his hand under the pillow expecting his wand but found it wasn’t there. Hollering, he swung his arm up, ready to punch the intruder but quickly lost his momentum as his blurry vision recognized Hermione’s outline. 

“Mione?” He croaked out, his throat raw. 

“Yes, it’s me.” She said as she held out his glasses and wand, “Nice wards.” 

He sat up while shoving the wire frames on his face, trying to not poke himself in the eye, “You okay?”

“Yes, no, I guess none of us are okay,” Hermione mumbled as she sat beside him on the bed, “I wanted to check on you.” 

Slowly getting his bearings, he saw that she was worn out. Her physical exhaustion obvious on her face and in her posture. “Come here,” he said, pulling her into his arms. 

Laying back, he rubbed her back as her breathing evened out. Just when he thought she was asleep, she muttered, “you stink.”

A few hours later, the light was creeping across the dorm room. Rubbing his eyes, Harry thought it was right after dawn. Hermione was still asleep, curled up under the blankets. He pulled them up higher on her and smoothed her curls away from her face.

Rummaging around in the student trunks, Harry found clean clothing close to his size. He made his way to the showers, bleary eyed, relying on his six years worth of memories in this dorm. He watched the dirt and blood sliding off his body under the hot water, it pooled and swirled around his feet before draining away. He felt a loss, a longing as it washed away. His body was clean but he wondered if his soul ever would be. He stood naked before the mirrors staring at his pale scrawny frame littered with bruises and cuts. Harry ran his wand over the cuts he could reach, watching dispiritedly as the skin knit together. 

~~O-O~~

Returning to the dorm room, Harry held his pants up, trying not to trip over the long legs. 

Hermione was sitting up in bed, her hair tousled more than usual. She took in his outfit and pointed her wand at him. His pant legs and shirt sleeves shortened. Tilting her head, she cast another charm, tightening the waist on the pants. 

“Thanks.” 

She got up and pulled her beaded bag from under her shirt. She rooted around with her entire arm inside the tiny bag until she found clothing for herself. “I’ll be right back. Wait for me?” She asked as she headed out the door. 

Rubbing his hair with a towel, Harry stared out the window to see parts of the castle crumbled to the ground and ashy smoke rising from the Forbidden Forest. ‘How would they recover?’ he wondered. 

Some time must have passed as he stood by the window as Hermione returned, freshly showered. She had cast a drying charm on her hair and tucked it up into a bun. “Ready?”

Taking her hand, they walked together out of the tower and towards the Great Hall. 

It was time for Harry to face the music. 

~~O-O~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say Hi on Tumblr:  
> <http://goodgodhenry.tumblr.com/>


	2. Chapter 2

~~O-O~~

Days turned into weeks as Harry buried his friends and his feelings. Funeral after funeral, he no longer cried, just stared blankly at the proceedings. 

He and Hermione stayed with the Weasley’s until Harry simply couldn’t anymore. Fred was gone, George and Molly were living ghosts. Arthur, Bill, and Charlie divided their time between Hogwarts and the Ministry. Percy stepped up and held them together; taking care of the family he had abandoned for so long. Ginny, Ron, Hermione, and Harry did their best by cooking and cleaning. No one really talked.

At night, Ron and Hermione would disappear behind Ron’s bedroom door. Their grief solidifying their relationship into more than just friendship. 

Harry doubted Ginny wanted to resume their relationship as she looked at him with empty eyes; he wondered if she could feel anything but sorrow.

Five weeks after the Battle at Hogwarts, Harry returned to 12 Grimmauld Place, alone except for Kreacher. He drowned himself in Firewhiskey both night and day. The decrepit house elf cleaned him up each morning, only to have Harry repeat the cycle the next day. 

He drank to forget his most hated professor, Severus Tobias Snape, the Half Blood Prince. He spent six years despising a man who had devoted his life to serving two masters. The man who would be remembered as a Death Eater, a murderer, and a greasy git. A man who would never get an honorable burial as his body had disappeared from the filthy floor of the Shrieking Shack. 

He drank to forget his mentor, his hero, his idol, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. The man who dropped him like a package on the door of relatives who hated him just as much as they hated magic. The man who ignored him until he needed Harry to pursue his own agenda. A man who hid the truth, withheld vital information, and manipulated everyone around him to ensure Harry would martyr himself. All for the Greater Good. 

Harry ignored the summons from the Ministry, mail from fans and haters, and letters from his friends. Instead, he sent drunken missives to the Minister of Magic regarding Snape’s innocence. Needless to say, his letters went unanswered. 

Hermione and Ron stopped by once in awhile, but rather than telling him to shape up, they joined him in getting drunk. They, too, had plenty to forget.

~~O-O~~

Three months after the battle, after yet another drunken night, Kreacher sat Harry up against the bottom of the couch and prodded him until he ate broth and French bread. Debating if he should get off the floor, Harry decided to remain where he was and accioed the firewhiskey. The empty bottle was lighter than expected and Harry fought to keep it in his hand as it nearly fell to the ground.

“Kreacher, why didn’t you buy more?” Harry asked, his voice husky from disuse. 

“Sir, forgive Kreacher. A family problem has arisen, Master Harry. Kreacher needs help.” The elf said, his ears drooping. 

Harry stared at the elf, confused. Kreacher was sad, based on his ears, but he stood tall and spoke clearly and eloquently. 

Shaking his head, Harry tried to focus, “Is this an emergency situation, Kreacher?”

“No, but Kreacher needs Master’s help.”

Using the couch as leverage, Harry pulled himself up, “Let me freshen up and I’ll be right back to discuss this with you.”

Twenty minutes later, showered and dressed in clean clothes, Harry returned to the sitting room. Kreacher stood in the same spot as before making Harry wonder if the elf had even moved.

“Okay, Kreacher,” he said as he sat down, “What is on your mind?”

“You are the godfather of Edward Remus Lupin?”

“Yes, I am Teddy’s godfather,” Harry answered warily; unsure of the direction of the conversation. 

Squaring his bony shoulders, the house elf spoke quickly, “Black Family elf says child is not seeing wizards or witches. Only elf take care of child.” 

“What?” Harry leaped to his feet, “Is he okay?”

“Elves take care of Pureblood children. Always. But magic children need wizards and witches.” He stepped forward and bowed formally, “Kreacher be head of the Black Family Elves, Kreacher need Master Harry to help Young Master Lupin.“

Harry began to pace, gesticulating with his hands, “Poor Teddy. What is Andi doing? Raised by elves. This is ridiculous.” 

He yelled out as he stubbed his toe on the leg of the coffee table; hopping to the couch before sitting down heavily. Harry closed his eyes and tried to slow his breathing. Inhaling for the span of several seconds, he held his breath then exhaled slowly. 

He leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees, “Kreacher, thank you for notifying me of the situation.”

The elderly house elf nodded at him, maintaining his stiff posture.

“Where is Andromeda?” 

“Bedroom, sir. Mistress Tonks is unwell, her heart is too sad.” 

“Thank you, Kreacher. I will floo over immediately.” Harry stood, and walked to the fireplace before a thought occurred to him. Turning, he asked, “Kreacher, I thought Andromeda did not have a house elf.”

“Mistress Malfoy say Gussy go to Mistress Tonks when Mudblood Tonks die. Mistress Tonks not want Gussy. Young Master Lupin was orphan, Mistress Tonks say yes to Gussy.”

Feeling unsettled, Harry didn’t know how to absorb this information. He knew that House Elves were more than servants, but quickly he was learning that they were truly honorable, devoted, and quite evolved as a society. It was more than just loyalty as Kreacher demonstrated with the locket and Regulus. It sounded more like they had free will despite their enslavement as Hermione called it.

Harry gave a short bow to Kreacher, “I truly appreciate you informing of this and caring for Teddy’s well being. And stop using the word Mudblood.”

He strode to the fireplace, grabbing a handful of powder from the crystal jar on the mantle. “Tonks Home,” He said as he stepped into the fireplace, opening his hand and releasing the powder. 

~~O-O~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, commenting and hitting the kudos button. You have made me so very happy.
> 
> Ugh on the nickname “Teddy” coming from the name “Edward”. Why do we do this? Why? 
> 
> Please don’t judge Andromeda too harshly. Everyone handles trauma differently.
> 
> This will not be a Harry / Hermione pairing (as you can tell by this chapter) - I am not sure if this story will end up with a romantic relationship for Harry, at least not so far in the 18 chapters that have been written out. 
> 
> Come say Hi on Tumblr: <http://goodgodhenry.tumblr.com/>


	3. Chapter 3

~~O-O~~

Harry stepped out into the brightly lit sitting room of the Tonks home. It looked exactly the same as the last time he had been there, before the war. 

“Hello,” he called out. 

A small house elf in a white cloth stepped into the room from the kitchen. “Welcome Master Potter,” she squeaked out as she bowed, “Me is Gussy.”

Harry crouched down to speak to her, “Nice to meet you, Gussy. Please call me Harry.” 

“Master Harry, would you like something to eat or drink?”

He glanced around the empty room, “No, thank you. I would like to see Teddy and Andromeda.”

“Young Master is sleeping.” Gussy said as she worried her hands together, “Mistress is in her bedroom.” 

Nodding at the small elf, Harry could see the distress on her face, “Let her know that I popped over for a visit. She does not need to know that Kreacher notified me of the situation.”

Gussy began to shake, unable to hold in her relief, “Thank you, Master Harry. Thank you.”

Harry sat down on the couch and waited. The silence was eerie. After ten minutes or so, he could hear footsteps on the stairs. 

He stood as Andromeda Tonks (nee Black) entered the room in a dressing gown, her long black hair pulled into a messy bun on the top of her head. Her normally pale skin was translucent, dark circles under her eyes, her high cheekbones were prominent as the rest of her face had sunken in. She walked slowly, shoulders hunched over as if she was exhausted.

“Ha...” Her voice was scratchy, so she cleared her throat and tried again, “Harry, welcome. Please have a seat.” She turned and addressed the tiny elf, “Gussy, can you please make tea?”

Sitting down beside the older woman, Harry turned and took her hands in his, “Andromeda, I am sorry I haven’t visited. I haven’t seen you or Teddy since the memorial service.”

She sniffed and wiped away a tear. 

“I know this is a difficult time for you. I wanted to check on you and Teddy. How are you both doing?”

Gussy interrupted with the tea, placing it on the table before popping away. Andromeda busied herself serving. She handed Harry his cup with shaking hands. He sipped his tea and watched her make her own cup, stirring the sugar long after it had dissolved. 

Andromeda took in a deep breath before she spoke, “Harry, I am going to be very honest here. I am not doing well. I need help.” She held back a sob and swallowed, “I cannot take care of Teddy. I cannot take care of myself.” 

As tears rolled down her face, Harry put his teacup down and pulled her into an embrace. She sobbed, her body heaving, and Harry allowed himself a few tears before stopping himself. He had to be strong for Teddy. 

After a few minutes, she pushed him away gently and patted her face with her handkerchief. Harry wiped a tear from his face and spoke softly, “What can I do?”

“You’re just a young man. Burdened your whole life with the Dark Lord hanging over you.” 

“I am also a young man who knows what it’s like to grow up without parents. If I can help Teddy in any way, I would like to, I want to. I need to ensure he doesn’t grow up like I did.” Harry realized the truth in his words as they came out, “Andromeda, I would like to have more contact with Teddy, be a part of his life.” 

A pop was followed by a cry; Gussy had returned to the living room with a crying baby in her thin bony arms. Teddy was about half the size of the elf that carried him. 

Leaping up from his seat, Harry crossed the room in two long strides. He dropped to his knees, and smiled, “Hullo there, Teddy!” 

~~O-O~~

The baby had almost doubled in size in the three months since Harry had seen him. His shock of hair was black then, today his baby fine hair was red and angry, matching his complexion as he cried harder as his godfather smiled at him. 

Gussy bounced up and down on her tiny feet and summoned a bottle. Teddy’s cries were interrupted by the nipple in his mouth. Harry asked Gussy if he wanted to sit down as she cradled the baby in her arms and fed him. A small chair appeared below her and she sat down, making odd sounds to Teddy. Harry thought Gussy was cooing and baby talking in her native tongue. 

Stepping back, he looked at Andromeda and found that she was dazed on the couch. Her eyes focused, unseeing, at the wall. Merlin, he thought, this is as bad as Kreacher said. 

Teddy finished his bottle in no time, spitting out the nipple with an audible pop. His face was curious as he looked around the room and found Harry. His hair rippled as the color change came through the red, leaving the baby with emerald green hair. 

“Hi, Teddy!” Harry tried again and when the baby didn’t cry, he stepped forward and knelt down by Gussy. “Hi, Little One.” 

Teddy’s chubby arms swung up and down like he was trying to propel himself forward. Harry held out his arms and Gussy released her hold on the baby. Harry kept up a narrative of inane conversation as he walked around the sitting room with Teddy in his arms. The baby smiled as he tried to grab Harry’s glasses. 

Gussy disappeared, leaving him alone with Andromeda and the baby. Harry joined the older woman on the couch and Teddy babbled, waving his arms about. She turned her head and her eyes settled on the baby. Covering her mouth, she jumped up from the couch and ran from the room. The sounds of her retching in the bathroom carried through the small home. 

She returned a few minutes later and apologized, “Harry, I can’t do this. I can’t look at him and not see my daughter. I can’t look at him and know what I have lost.” Steeling herself, she locked eyes with Harry, ignoring the baby directly below his chin, “I can’t raise him. And I can’t have poor Gussy raise him.” 

Nodding at her, Harry knew how she felt. He had been wrestling with the reminders of everyone he had lost. But he couldn't let Teddy be a victim of the war, of his parent’s decisions, of an egomaniac’s quest to rule the world. He couldn't let Teddy pay the price for others’ sins. This innocent baby needed a life without neglect; he needed love and he needed a family. 

Harry closed his eyes and lowered his head to Teddy’s. Skimming the baby’s soft hair with his nose, Harry knew what he had to do. 

“Andromeda, would you allow me to raise Teddy? I would be honored to care for him and love him. And I would never keep him from you. You would always be his family, his blood.” 

A strangled sob escaped from her as she nodded. Dabbing her eyes, she looked at Teddy in Harry’s arms, “Yes, I think that would be best.” 

~~O-O~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, please don’t judge Andromeda too harshly. 
> 
> Come say Hi on Tumblr: <http://goodgodhenry.tumblr.com/>


	4. Chapter 4

~~O-O~~

‘What now?’ Harry thought. He had accepted responsibility for a four month old child and he had no experience with children (yet alone babies). The weight of the decision came down on him, heavier than the child in his lap. 

Andromeda must have seen the panic in Harry’s eyes, and she reached out and patted his arm, “Don’t worry. Gussy will come with you. She is bound to Teddy.” 

“What about you? Who is going to take care of you?” Harry asked. 

She leaned back on the couch, tipped her head back and closed her eyes, “I don’t know.”

Harry occupied himself with the baby as Teddy grabbed onto Harry’s hand and tried to shove his fingers into his mouth. When he had gathered his thoughts, he spoke gently to the older woman, “In the muggle world, there are psychiatrists and therapists to help with loss. I have not found that here.”

“The Wizarding World is behind the times in some things. St Mungos does not have this type of healer.” 

“Would you like me to find you a muggle doctor?” Harry asked.

Shaking her head, Andromeda sighed, “I think one of Ted’s cousins was a therapist. He knew about the wizarding world. Maybe I will ask him.”

They sat in silence, each lost in their own thoughts as Teddy gnawed on Harry’s fingers. He couldn’t focus on her problems as his mind was overrun with the baby. He was about to become a teenage father. Sure, 17 was legally an adult but he was still a kid, wasn’t he?

Turning the baby around, Harry looked into Teddy’s shining blue eyes. Teddy smashed both of his tiny fists into Harry’s face, making cheerful noises. 

Shrugging his shoulders, Harry relaxed. He never was a kid, really, not while living with the Dursley’s and then not while being the Boy-Who-Lived. He would make sure Teddy got the opportunities of a childhood he never had. 

“Andromeda,” He started but she held up her hand and asked him to call her Andi. Starting again, he said, “Andi, I don’t want to leave you alone without Gussy watching over you.” 

“I think I might turn to Narcissa for help. Perhaps we can help each other through these hard times.” She answered softly. 

Sensing her nervousness, Harry smiled gently at her, “Have you reconnected?”

Expecting harsh criticism, Andi was genuinely surprised by Harry’s reaction. “Yes. Just a few short letters. She is the one who sent Gussy for Teddy.” 

“I’m glad,” Harry said shortly, realizing that he still hadn’t analyzed his feelings about what Narcissa Malfoy had done for him, well, technically for Draco, but he had benefited. 

~~O-O~~

After their long discussion, Andi had disappeared into her room citing the day had been too much for her. She was exhausted, emotionally and physically. 

Teddy was worn out as well; Harry rocked him to sleep in his arms. 

Gussy had offered Harry lunch but he declined instead asking her if she was willing to move to 12 Grimmauld Place.

“Gussy goes where Master Teddy goes.” 

Harry nodded and called out for his own elf, “Kreacher.”

The elderly elf arrived with a quiet pop. “Master Harry,” he said, bowing slightly,

“Thank you for coming,” Harry said, “Teddy is going to be coming home with us. Can you get Regulus’ room ready for him? It’s the closest one to my bedroom. You may store Regulus’ belongings in the attic or keep them for yourself if you wish.”

Kreacher bowed again instead of answering. 

“Can you also prepare quarters for Gussy? She will be living with us as well.” Harry asked Kreacher before turning to Teddy’s elf, “Gussy, can you pack up Teddy’s things and set them up in the new nursery?” 

The tiny elf smiled and bounced on her feet, “Gussy be making nice room for Master Teddy.” 

The two elves blinked away, double pops causing Teddy to wiggle. Remembering the muggle shows on the telly, Harry walked the room making shushing noises. He was pleased when the baby settled down. ‘Maybe I can do this,’ he thought.

Once he was sure Teddy was in a deep sleep, Harry carried him upstairs to take a look in the nursery. He stepped into the room to find the room completely empty, the walls plain and the window without curtains. Returning to the living room, Harry was at a loss, should he stay or head back to Grimmauld Place? 

When Teddy awakens, should he fix him a bottle in Andi’s kitchen? What if his nappy is wet? Harry wondered as he paced. 

Gussy popped in, “Master Teddy’s room is ready.” 

“Wow!” Harry exclaimed, “Thank you, Gussy. What about your room?”

The little elf bowed to him, “Kreacher be making Gussy room now that Master Teddy’s is done.”

“Um, Gussy. I have never taken care of a baby before. Can you show me how to make a bottle for Teddy?” Harry shrugged, might as well get it over with, “and how to change his nappy?”

The house elf was now vibrating with excitement as the smile on her face grew, “Gussy be happy. Show Sir how to take care of Master Teddy.”

Over the next two hours, Harry got a crash course in Care of Magical Infants. From changing noxious nappies, to bathing and dressing a squirming baby. 

Feeling confident after feeding Teddy a bottle, Harry smirked, “Babies aren’t that complicated.” 

Of course, Teddy chose that moment to spit up all over Harry. 

~~O-O~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading, commenting, and hitting the Kudos button! 
> 
> For those inquiring about my posting schedule, I plan on adding a new chapter weekly. 
> 
> Come say Hi on Tumblr:   
> <http://goodgodhenry.tumblr.com/>


	5. Chapter 5

~~O-O~~

Over the next few days, Gussy helped Harry transition as a caregiver for Teddy. The baby was delightful and fun. Other than crying indignantly when he was wet, Teddy was an easy child to care for. Harry owled Hermione, Ron, and Ginny about his change of status from honorary godfather to primary caretaker of the young child. 

When his friends descended on 12 Grimmauld Place, Harry left the baby in Ginny’s arms and pulled Hermione aside to discuss Andi’s condition. “Mione, she didn’t even look at him when we left. She couldn’t stand the sight of him.”

“Sounds like she’s severely depressed. She lost everyone she knows and loves,” Hermione said as she dug through her bag, “I spoke to several healers at St. Mungo’s about Molly and George, specifically about PTSD and grief. Perhaps we can recommend some magic and muggle options to her.” She found her parchment filled with notes on healers, potions, and treatments. Duplicating it, Hermione handed a copy to Harry. 

“I’ll get this to her,” Harry tucked it away in his robes. “She mentioned asking Narcissa for help.”

As a variety of emotions crossed over Hermione’s face, Harry tucked her under his arm, and kissed her temple, “I know, I know,” he said soothingly. 

“I’m fine.” Hermione declared as her curls bounced around. “I hate them so much. But I know she saved you, Harry.” 

Ron crossed the room and pulled her into a warm hug, “Well, you can still hate the Ferret.”

“Good!” Hermione smiled, “Now Ginny, can I have a turn holding Teddy?”

The friends played with the baby for an hour before Gussy whisked him away for his nap. Kreacher appeared with tea service as they sat down to talk. 

Ron and Hermione cuddled together on the couch and Harry sat across from Ginny, neither of them meeting each other’s eyes. Harry realized at that moment that whatever they had had between them was truly over. 

Passing over the chocolate biscuits, Harry’s hand touched Ginny’s and she looked up, her eyes welled up with tears. “It’s okay, Gin,” he whispered to her and she nodded in agreement, “it’s gonna be okay.” 

~~O-O~~

The honeymoon period with Teddy ended rather abruptly. The easy going child decided that he didn’t want to be put down. He cried when Gussy tried to bathe him or feed him. He cried when Harry tried to play with him. He screamed if anyone attempted to coax him to sleep. After two days of nonstop crying, Harry took the baby to a child healer only to be told that there was nothing wrong. “He’s just teething,” the healer said. Harry’s eyes narrowed at his flippant tone.

At the three day mark, Teddy refused all of Gussy’s attention and would only go to Harry. He was either sniffling, crying, or screaming. 

On day four, Harry arrived at the Burrow in a blind panic with an angry metamorphic baby in his arms. Harry’s messy hair, stood on end, and he had dark circles beneath his eyes. Teddy’s hair was a deep red color, also standing on end like Harry’s but unlike Harry’s, Teddy’s hair was emitting sparks. Sparks that grew larger and brighter the louder Teddy screamed. 

Percy reached him first, taking in the situation and handling it like a mature adult, “Mum! Mum!”

Molly Weasley came down the stairs and smiled for the first time in over four months, “Come here, loves.” She cooed at both Harry and Teddy, “It’s alright!”

Taking Teddy from Harry’s arms, she bounced him, ignoring his cries. “Percy, be a dear and wet a clean flannel with sugar water then do a half-hearted attempt at a freezing charm please.”

George appeared, popping into the family room, behind his mother, “What’s all the racket?” 

“Would you look at that, Teddy?” Molly said as she turned to show the baby to her son, “Your crying got George out of this room.” 

Returning with the rag, Percy handed it to his mother before escaping up the stairs. 

Wrapping the cloth around her finger, she stuck it into Teddy’s mouth mid-cry. The baby’s eyes grew big as he sucked and chewed on her finger. Harry watched as Teddy relaxed in Molly’s arms and slowing closed his eyes, his flaming red hair turning auburn and then blond. 

Harry collapsed into a chair, “Gussy tried a tooth numbing potion but it tasted so bad that he refused to open his mouth. Then Teddy was so mad at Gussy that he wouldn’t let her anywhere near him.”

George settled on the couch next to his mother, “Mum’s got a magical touch with babies.” 

Closing his eyes, Harry leaned his head back on the back of the chair, “Four days! Four days of non stop crying and screaming.”

Teddy sighed contently and continued gnawing on Molly’s finger as Harry fell asleep in the chair. 

Molly stood, “Come on, George. I’ll fix lunch while you hold Teddy.”

~~O-O~~

Harry’s request to formally adopt Edward “Teddy” Remus Lupin was rejected, the notice signed specifically by Kingsley Shacklebolt. Leaving the six month old with Gussy, Harry flooed to the Ministry and marched into the Minister’s office, ignoring the startled assistant as he stomped past her.

“What is the meaning of this, Kings?” Harry demanded, holding out the denial parchment. 

Kingsley stood up, “Harry, nice to see you. Please have a seat.” 

Staying in place, Harry attempted to stare the man down, but he noted a smirk playing on the Minister’s face. He sat down heavily, “What do you want?”

Smiling openly, Kingsley leaned back in his chair and propped his feet on his desk, “You’ve ignored all my summons regarding the upcoming trials.”

“I’m tired, Kings. I am tired of being manipulated and used,” Harry sighed, “I don’t want to do this. I already wrote to you that Snape was innocent.” 

Kingsley laughed, practically braying, as he pointed to a large stack of letters. The stack was tied with red ribbon and sat on top of a cabinet with a sign stating, ‘The Boy Who Can’t Spell.’ 

“Your spelling is atrocious when you are drunk.” 

Chagrined, Harry ducked his head, “Well, you didn’t reply to the sober requests.” 

A formal parchment flew across the room and into Harry’s hands. It was a formal notice from the Wizengamot declaring Severus T. Snape innocent and posthumously granted Order of Merlin, First Class. 

“It will be in the Daily Prophet when the Death Eater trials are over,” Kingsley said. 

Harry blinked away the tears in his eyes, “That’s wonderful. I am so grateful…” His words flowed away. After several moments, he cleared his throat. “Which trials?”

“The Malfoys’ and Goyle.” 

Grumbling, “stupid Slytherins,” under his breath, Harry couldn’t care less about their fates. “Fine, but will you approved Teddy’s adoption?”

Another parchment flew into his hands, “Already done,” Kingsley said, “I just wanted to get your attention.” 

“Prat,” muttered Harry.

They both laughed as Kingsley came around the desk and hugged Harry, “Congratulations, Daddy.” 

~~O-O~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your support! 
> 
> Come say Hi on Tumblr: <http://goodgodhenry.tumblr.com/>


	6. Chapter 6

~~O-O~~

Life in the Wizarding World had already proved difficult for the Boy Who Lived after the Battle at Hogwarts. A walk down Diagon Alley generated mobs of well wishers. Any purchase he tried to make was heavily discounted or free. People constantly tried to touch him or Teddy. 

Then Harry was called to the witness chair four times in four weeks. Answering the questions without bias, Harry simply stated the facts without embellishment. This both frustrated and angered the wizarding community. 

He covered the incident at Malfoy Mansion when Draco didn’t identify them to the Death Eaters then the final battle when Narcissa told Tom Riddle that Harry was dead. He spoke about the incident in the Room of Requirement with Crabbe and Goyle. At final trial, emotionally exhausted, Harry found himself answering questions about Lucius Malfoy with short answers, mostly muttering yes and no. 

People on both sides were upset, “Why didn’t you beg for leniency for Narcissa?” or “Why didn’t you tell them that Lucius Malfoy should get the dementor’s kiss?” 

Hounded by reporters, and a constant stream of letters and Howlers, Harry grew more despondent. The only brightness in Harry’s life was Teddy. 

Hermione had decided to return to Hogwarts to help in the rebuilding efforts while studying for Newts. Ron had gone along, promising Molly that he would keep an eye on Ginny. 

Ginny, Harry thought as he pinched the bridge of his nose, dropping his eyeglasses on the bedside table. Ginny was his first girlfriend. They were over, had been for awhile, but Harry wondered why he wasn’t upset about it. He had assumed they would resume their relationship after things settled down but he found that he missed the idea of Ginny more than the redhead herself. 

Deciding the outside world had nothing for him, Harry hid away using Teddy as an excuse. He refused to meet his friends in Hogsmeade for weekend outings. He asked Kreacher to take care of the grocery shopping and relied on Gussy to enlarge Teddy’s baby clothes. And when a new batch of howlers arrived, he wandlessly exploded them, creating an indoor fireworks display for Teddy’s enjoyment. 

Wallowing in self pity, Harry retreated into the haze of firewhiskey after putting Teddy to bed. 

Two weeks later, his floo lit up unexpectedly. Harry prepared himself to hex whoever came through. 

Fortunately, George Weasley was quick with a shield charm. 

“Harry, you look like crap.” 

Accioing the bottle and a second glass, Harry poured a generous amount and handed the drink to George, “I feel like a crotchety old man.” 

The two young men lounged on the couches, drinking and lamenting the outcomes of the trials. Lucius Malfoy had received a generous sentence of 25 years rather than life in prison. 

“Are you surprised?” Harry asked.

Shrugging, George took another sip, “I didn’t think he would turn in the other Death Eaters.”

“He did it in exchange for reduced sentences for his wife and the ferret,” Harry confided, “that’s why they got probation. I’m glad Goyle got a few years.” 

They drank steadily for several hours, complaining and ranting before falling into quiet sadness. Harry pretended he didn’t see George wipe a tear from his eye and doled out another drink.

After decimating a full bottle, George rummaged through his robes and pulled out two vials of hangover prevention potion. He handed one to Harry and raised his vial in a toast, “To the inventor of the hangover potion, Severus Snape, greasy git and hero extraordinaire.“

“Here, here!” Harry clinked his potion bottle to George’s and they drank.

~~O-O~~

George woke to sounds of a young child giggling. Opening his eyes, he realized that he slept over at Grimmauld Place. Looking around, he saw Teddy in Gussy’s arms, the baby almost the same size as the tiny elf, and Harry snoring on the floor. 

Sitting up, he was pleased to see the potion had worked. The only effects of a night of heavy drinking was the crick in his neck and that was from sleeping on a small couch, “Hiya, Teddy!”

The baby babbled at him and when George held out his arms, Teddy leaned forward. 

“Come on, Were-Baby! Let’s find some breakfast,” smiling at the house elf, “Gussy, would you help me prepare some breakfast for young master Ted?”

Harry finally woke and stumbled into the basement kitchen to find Kreacher and George making breakfast while Gussy fed Teddy mushy baby food. “Morning,” he said as he leaned over Teddy, kissing the boy on the head. 

They enjoyed a simple breakfast when Kreacher announced the mail had arrived. Teddy clapped his hands together, expecting more Howlers. 

“Sorry, Pup,” Harry said, dropping the thick stack on the table, “looks like more crap from Gringotts.” 

Fiddling with the statements of accounts, George began organizing them by type. He glanced up when Harry cleared his throat. “Sorry, I just go into automatic business mode when Gringott statements arrive. You have three vaults and three properties. You take the Golden Trio rule to heart, eh?”

“I have the Potter Vault, the Black Vault, and now the Lupin Vault. But only two properties.” Confused, Harry reached for the pile, “huh, 12 Grimmauld Place and Godric’s Hollow, I never noticed this one.” 

“You and Teddy should go exploring, check out this property,” George said, “All right, I’m off. Need to check on Mum then to WWW.” 

Waving the older man off, Harry spread out his property documents on the table. He had never noticed that he inherited a bungalow on an island in the Mediterranean. 

“Teddy, what do you say to a little adventure in the Spring?” 

~~O-O~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say Hi on Tumblr: <http://goodgodhenry.tumblr.com/>


	7. Chapter 7

~~O-O~~

Another month had passed and Teddy was developing rapidly. Harry was astounded by the baby each and every day, from eating solid foods to scooting around on his belly. Caring for Teddy took up most of Harry’s day. 

A note from Hermione called his attention to a new policy from the Ministry. Students who had been unable to take their Newts due to the events of the past year were given an exception for independent study. The tests would be held at Hogwarts twice; once before the Winter holidays and then usual time at the end of the school year. 

Giving up his plan to fix up Grimmauld Place, Harry began to revise for his Newts. He would care for Teddy and study when the baby napped. Wanting to earn Newts in Defense Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, Charms, and Herbology, Harry cleared a desk in the library and found the proper textbooks. 

After Teddy’s bedtime, Harry found himself studying instead of drinking. Even when George dropped by for a visit, the two men found themselves drinking tea and perfecting Harry’s lackluster transfiguration work. 

Despite his reluctance to leave his house, Harry did make an exception. On an unusually sunny day, Harry and Teddy headed at the Burrow for lunch with intentions of being home by naptime. Molly gushed over Teddy while filling Harry in on the latest exploits of her children. George was working regularly now and had asked a few old classmates to help him out in the store. Percy was thrilled to be back at the Ministry. Charlie was back with his beloved dragons, Molly shook her head as if she still couldn’t believe the life choices her son had made. Clapping Teddy’s hand together, she shared the news she couldn’t hold back any longer, “Fleur is pregnant. I’m going to be a grandma!” 

A few days later, an owl came through with a letter from Andi. She had written that she was doing well, living with her sister and nephew. Given her better state of mind, she wished to visit Teddy. 

Harry was beyond thrilled. He had never been comfortable with the idea of Andi being unable to even look at Teddy but he certainly didn’t want to visit her at Malfoy Mansion. He couldn’t even consider taking Teddy to that hateful place. Penning an invitation for tea at Grimmauld Place for the next day, Harry sent the owl back.

Andi Tonks arrived through the floo, looking tired but healthier than last time. She still had dark circles and an unhealthy pallor but she stood tall, her voice strong. After hugging Harry, she cradled his face in her hands, “Thank you.” 

She sat right down on the floor to play with Teddy, smooching and hugging him as he tried to crawl. Giggling, he pulled at her long hair and turned his turquoise hair to an ebony black to match his grandmother. Andi shared a few silly stories of Nymphadora as a baby with them before Teddy went down for his nap.

The adults enjoyed tea, chatting about the new ward at St. Mungos, staff mostly by muggleborns who had returned to the muggle world to learn about mental health. Andi related that the mind healers were wonderful and she was on the path to becoming a whole person again, “every day is still a struggle but it seems a bit easier.” 

“Are you still staying with your sister?” Harry asked diplomatically. 

She nodded as she saw through his politeness, “Narcissa has been quite kind to me. She is aware that she cannot make up for her past actions so she is trying to be…” Andi fluttered her hand then wiped away a single tear. “Anyway, you should see Draco. He has cleared out almost everything on the first floor of the mansion and is removing all traces of dark magic. He’s studying for his Newts with intention of becoming Potion Master. Which makes me wonder about you, Harry. Are you getting a chance to revise while taking care of Teddy?” 

Giving her a tight smile as she talked about his school rival, Harry was distracted by thoughts his old potions master. Snape had always favored Malfoy. It was more than just being a Slytherin and a family friend, Draco Malfoy had always shown true talent in potions. 

Recalling that she had asked him a question, Harry cleared his throat, “Ah, yes. I do have time to revise for my NEWTs. I think I’ll be ready to take them by next month.“

“Which ones are you taking?” Andi grinned, “Well, outside of Defense Against the Dark Arts, that is...”

“Transfiguration, Charms, and Herbology.” 

Refilling their teacups, Andi passed the cup to Harry, “you don’t want to try for the Potions NEWT?”

She had been open and honest about painful things so Harry felt safe in confiding in her, “I can’t stop thinking about Snape and the sacrifices he made for me, for our world.”

They were quiet, both lost in thought until Gussy brought Teddy to them. 

“How was your nap, Teddy?“ Andi cuddled the sleepy toddler as his hair became more vibrant as he wiped the sleep from his eyes. Soon, she was chasing him around the living room, kissing his fat cheeks when she caught him. 

~~O-O~~

With the Death Eater trials finally completed, the Ministry formally announced Snape was cleared of all charges. The Daily Prophet ran a scathing article, the headline screaming “Wizengamot Under Confundus Charm?” when they found out he had been awarded Order of Merlin, First Class. 

The trial of Severus T. Snape began in the court of public opinion. Reporters hounded the Golden Trio, the Malfoys, Headmistress McGonagall, and past Slytherin students for information. 

Kingsley Shacklebolt and the members of Wizengamot gave the Daily Prophet statements but it wasn’t until the Auror office issued their report on Dumbledore’s death that public opinion turned. Irrefutable affidavits from Dumbledore himself, released through his estate at Gringotts, as well as a statement from Narcissa Malfoy, proved that Snape had not committed murder. He had been bound by magic to save Draco Malfoy’s life and release Dumbledore from a mortal curse. 

Suddenly, Snape was a tragic hero. Harry rolled his eyes as he vanished yet another request for an interview. 

Settling on the couch, Harry sipped his tea, contemplating his old professor. Snape was still an enigma. He was a hero and a bastard. He wasn’t black or white, Severus Snape was gray. 

The same could be said about Dumbledore, Harry thought. Both of them manipulated people and skirted the line between truth and lies to achieve their goals. 

~~O-O~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A nod to JK Rowling’s explanation on Snape on Twitter:
> 
> “Snape is all grey. You can't make him a saint: he was vindictive & bullying. You can't make him a devil: he died to save the wizarding world”
> 
> Come say Hi on Tumblr:   
> <http://goodgodhenry.tumblr.com/>


	8. Chapter 8

~~O-O~~

Harry asked Andi to stay at Grimmauld Place with Gussy to watch over Teddy as he headed to Hogwarts the week for his Newts along with the other 8th year students. The entire experience was a fun reunion since there were only forty or so students taking tests. Harry caught up with friends, spending time at the unity table in the Great Hall. While students from all four houses were there, the Slytherins were severely underrepresented. 

After breakfast, Harry was heading out of the Great Hall when Draco Malfoy approached him. The blond man was dressed severely in black robes with a high neck, giving the impression of muggle priest. He held up in hands in a gesture of peace, “Potter, I would like to thank you for clearing Professor Snape’s name.”

Dumbfounded, Harry stood there, blinking. Malfoy seemed to be sincere. 

Harry held his hand out and they shook hands as streams of students walked around them, gawking. 

“I thought, your mom,” Harry shook his head, dismissing thoughts that Malfoy would thank him for testifying on behalf of his mother, “I didn’t do anything but I am glad they have announced Snape’s innocence.” 

Draco nodded curtly, “I am sure that’s not true but thank you anyway.” 

Harry remained in the corridor, lost in thought until Hermione came along to fetch him. 

Draco continued to join the 8th year student at meal times, eating quietly and leaving quickly. He didn’t socialize with his old classmates, simply nodding and returning to his quarters or the library. 

Hermione told Harry that the tall blond had politely asked her for a book when she was finished with it, “he’s matured.” 

Ginny was different as well. She was happy, well happier than she had been several months ago. She was coaching the Gryffindor Quidditch team as she didn’t want to play anymore. She looked healthier, her fair skin returning from the grayish pallor to its natural pinkish hue. They were still a little awkward, moving from a relationship back to just friendship. 

When the tests began the next morning; Harry felt confident as they started with Charms. While studying was always helpful, having a small child around taught you how to cast charms quickly and effectively, he thought. Harry Potter had become a natural at Charms. 

After lunch, he and Ron headed to Hagrid’s hut for a visit while Hermione, Draco, and two Ravenclaws headed to their Ancient Runes NEWT. 

The next day followed the same schedule, breakfast in Great Hall, testing, lunch, then Hermione would head for another grueling NEWT with a small group of students. 

In the leisurely afternoons, Harry and Ron played a pickup Quidditch game with other students, including a few Slytherin 8th years. When Harry asked Ron about his lack of animosity towards their old class rivals, the redhead just scoffed at him, “This is Quidditch. Way more important than politics or house alliances.” 

Harry could admit he was loving the freedom of being away from his responsibilities. He only had to care for himself; showering, eating, studying, all on his own time. But the gnawing feeling in his stomach grew more and more uncomfortable until he finally snuck home for the evening to see his boy. The toddler threw himself at Harry, screeching happily.

Swinging the black haired child up into the air, Harry enjoyed the giggles. Kissing Teddy on the forehead earned him a head squeeze by the ten month old.

“Dada,” Teddy said as he snuggled deeper into the hug from Harry, “Dada.” 

Despite the joy in his heart, Harry glanced guiltily at Andi, thinking of Remus and Tonks, Teddy’s parents. His mother and father who would never be called Mummy or Daddy. 

Andi smiled at them through her sad tears, “You are his Daddy, Harry. You are his father now. Embrace it.”

Smooching kisses on Teddy’s chubby cheeks, Harry agreed with his son, “Yes, Teddy, I am Dada.”

~~O-O~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say Hi on Tumblr:   
> <http://goodgodhenry.tumblr.com/>


	9. Chapter 9

~~O-O~~

The NEWTs were done. With his schooling officially behind him, Harry felt like he was an adult.

“I am really proud of you, Harry. All Os and Es,” Hermione’s praise pleased him. She dismissed his complaint that he hadn’t taken nearly as many NEWTs as she had. “Only Draco Malfoy,” she paused to scrunch her nose, “took as many as I did.”

“I heard Malfoy only inched you out in Potions and Arithmancy,” Harry said as he pulled Teddy off the third shelf of the bookcase. 

Hermione shrugged and held her arms out to take the toddler, “Come here, you little monkey.” 

“So, Uni?”

“My parents and I are going to look at the Magical College of Australia next week,” she bounced Teddy on her knee until he demanded to get down.

Harry was surprised, “What about Ron?”

She smiled, “He promises to visit often. He really doesn’t want to go to Uni but he isn’t ready to dive in Auror training yet. He’s going to help George out in the store for awhile.” 

“Your relationship survived Voldy-pants, I’m sure you will be fine,” Harry stopped Teddy as he tried to scale the bookcase again.

“It’s probably better this way. I can concentrate on my classes and when we are together, I can focus my attention on Ron,” Hermione transfigured Teddy’s blocks into small flying dragons, capturing his interest. “Have you decided on your next move?”

Finally able to sit down, Harry propped his feet up on the coffee table, “Yeah, going to fix up the house here. Most of the rooms are still ghastly. Then I want to check out my mother’s cottage. Did I tell you it’s on a small island near Greece?” 

“Yes, you did,” she harrumphed at him, “now, small talk is over. We have covered all the topics but the weather. Are you going to tell me what’s on your mind?”

“Too damn bright,” Harry muttered before running his hand nervously through his hair. “Um, so I spent time with Ginny last month and there was nothing there. No longing, no attraction, not that I don’t like her, I do. She is amazing but,” 

“You weren’t in love with her,” Hermione said gently, “Harry, you already knew that.”

“Ah, yeah, well, I didn’t expect to be attracted to Roger Davies,” Harry was thankful for his longer hair covering his ears because he knew for sure that they were bright red. 

“Did you like him like him or just found him attractive?” 

Teddy rammed a Chinese Fireball into his knee, “Dada.” 

Recasting the flying charm on the toy, Teddy crawled away leaving Harry in the precarious position to answer honestly.

“I thought he looked hot when he was changing out of his Quidditch uniform. I found myself checking him out,” he admitted guiltily, “but I don’t want to date him. I know he’s going out with Susan Bones. It’s just that I didn’t expect to be into him. Into a guy, you know.”

Hermione switched couches and sat down beside him, “So, what is the problem?”

“How can I not know I am into guys?” He threw his hands up in frustration.

“Let’s see, first, you lived a very shielded life with the Dursley’s, where the concept of being normal was shoved down your throat. Then you hit puberty while an evil wizard was constantly trying to kill you. You didn’t have a chance to explore your sexuality. Nothing against Ginny, because I truly love her and I think she is amazing, but your relationship never went very far. Anyway, you might not be gay, you could be bisexual. The label doesn’t matter, Harry. You just need to find what works for you. Embrace your sexuality for whatever it is.” 

Groaning, Harry dropped his face into his hands, “this is the weirdest conversation we have ever had, Mione.” 

“Yes, but it is important.” 

“I guess I have a lot of thinking to do,” he muttered.

Hermione dropped a kiss on the top of his head and cheekily said, “and exploring.”

~~O-O~~

Instead of thinking about his sexuality, Harry kept himself busy thinking about anything else. He pushed the thoughts away and grabbed on to any other topic. He considered Teddy’s upbringing with a teenage father, he spent hours debating Snape’s disappearance, and his own future career, surely he didn’t want to be an Auror. 

Harry cooked elaborate meals when he attempted to give the elves nights off. However, Kreacher and Gussy stayed close by, hovering over Harry, adjusting stove temperature or adding spices. 

He cleaned room after room, with good old fashioned elbow grease, thinking of Snape’s detentions, and with magic to remove unwanted creatures or spells. 

He played with Teddy for hours, dreading when the child napped. All this and Harry still had time on his hands. 

He tried to occupy his evenings with friends but Ron, Hermione, and her parents were touring Australia. Ginny was at school and Harry didn’t want to bother George. He sent off a few letters to his other friends, Neville, Dean, and Seamus, and answered their replies. 

Finally, Harry allowed himself to think about Ginny, their relationship, their kisses. He had the desire to want more than just kissing and he truly wanted Ginny at the time, before he left her behind to hunt Horcruxes. ‘What about Cho?’ he asked himself, he had noticed her, been attracted to her. Does that make him bisexual? Was that a phase? Do people have phases? Maybe he was in a phase now. A gay phase. 

Rubbing his eyes, Harry dragged himself to the bathroom, digging in the medicine cabinet for a headache remedy. 

He was attracted to Roger Davies of all people. Was he attracted to other men? Harry climbed into bed, waving his hand at the lights, “nox.”

Sleep didn’t come any easier that night than the previous nights.

~~O-O~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say Hi on Tumblr:   
> <http://goodgodhenry.tumblr.com/>


	10. Chapter 10

~~O-O~~

“Gay, could I be gay? Or Bi? Don’t you have to just pick one side?” Harry asked himself as he cast a scourgify charm on the bedroom of Orion and Walburga Black. With the master bedroom dust and dirt free, Harry could remove the handkerchief over his mouth and nose. He stepped in and pulled down the dingy curtains, casting an incendio to dispose of them. He shoved hard to open the window and took in a deep breath of fresh air. 

“Would Sirius have cared if I wasn’t straight?” He spoke out loud and jerked in surprise when Kreacher answered him.

“Master Sirius broke Mistress’ heart.”

“He was gay?”

“Mistress say being gay didn’t matter; adding to the pure bloodline more important. Need pureblood wizards and witches to carry on the Black name,” Kreacher cast a charm and the pallor on the walls and floor diminished even more, “Master Sirius stayed with the Potters during school breaks to avoid her matchmaking.” 

Harry stared at the ancient elf in disbelief. Kreacher continued casting charms at the room and furniture, ignorant of his Master’s internal struggle. 

This gave Harry more to think about; if the wizarding world didn’t really care about this, why should he? Were there bisexual wizards? 

The thought of discussing this with Hermione again had him running for the firewhiskey but before he could take the first sip, she appeared in his living room. 

“I really need to secure the floo.” He muttered under his breath as he hugged her. 

Smacking him on the arm, Hermione said, “I heard that.”

They drank tea instead of Firewhiskey, Hermione telling him all about her new college and how well behaved Ron was around her parents. 

Harry showed her around the house, pointing out the renovations he planned on making. Somehow Hermione managed to get his to talk about his feelings. After a barrage of confused ramblings, she suggested that he stop worrying about what others think, Muggles or Wizards. 

“Get to know people in a social setting. Date someone. That spark of interest, that moment when you realize you want to know a person better or plain old lusting after someone. Follow those moments and don’t worry about their gender.” 

When he scoffed at her, citing that it was more complicated than that, she shrugged her shoulders, “yet, all my research shows that sexuality is fluid.” Standing up, she said, “come with me.” 

They ended up in the study, and she pointed out a shelf near the top of the bookcases, “This entire section is about sexuality.”

Over the next week, Harry explored the Black family library books, learning more than he ever wanted; especially about the mating practices of centaurs. 

~~O-O~~

Ready to take on the world, or ‘Operation: Find Out if I’m Gay or Bisexual,’ Harry was ready to explore. Where better to meet other young adults than the club scene, he thought. With Gussy or Andi watching Teddy, he didn’t even worry about staying out all night. 

He dragged Ron and George to join him. The brothers went under duress as Ron hated to dance and George wasn’t feeling social. Harry had a feeling that Hermione had undue influence over both of them as they were at 12 Grimmauld Place on time and dressed for a night out. 

After applying several cosmetic charms to hide his identity in the Wizarding world, Harry and his friends hit the clubs. Week after week, Harry exchanged a few kisses with women he danced with but his attention tended to be on the men in the club. Dancing with men was more enticing, but Harry didn’t exchange kisses with them. The gay community in the Wizarding World was small, so small that Harry felt uncomfortable hiding his identity while snogging. 

Tired of changing his appearance, he asked Ron and George to go with him to Muggle London to dance in the gay clubs. 

Ron adamantly refused, “Harry, I love you like a brother but you can’t keep making me go to dance clubs. I hate dancing. I really hate dancing.” Placing his arm over his best friend’s shoulders, he added, “Plus, I hear they judge your dancing way harsher in the muggle world.” 

George didn’t mind at all, surprised that drinking and dancing took his mind off losing Fred. He joined Harry at the muggle clubs. He danced with everyone and politely rebuffed advances, watching Harry out of the corner of his eye as the younger man navigated this new world. 

Despite dancing and kissing several men at the muggle clubs, Harry remained unsure of himself. He had hoped that a kiss would answer all of his questions once and for all.   
~~O-O~~

“I need a vacation,” Harry told Teddy as the little boy splashed in the bathtub. 

“Duck.” 

“Yes, a vacation and your rubber ducky can come along.”

“Duck.”

“Ted, my man, you are quite the conversationalist,” Harry said with an eye roll. He had hoped Teddy would be saying ‘Dada’ on regular intervals but he once added the word ‘Duck’ to his vocabulary, he refused to say anything else. 

With NEWTs behind him and Grimmauld Place renovations coming along nicely, Harry wanted to start the next projects on his to-do list; the destroyed house in Godric’s Hollow or the cottage in the Mediterranean. Given the cool drizzling spring and the sorrow associated with his parents’ home, Harry decided on a holiday in the sun. 

“I better learn sunscreen charms for your fair skin, Teddy,” Harry rinsed the shampoo out of Teddy’s hair, “can you say sunscreen?”

“Duck.” 

~~O-O~~


	11. Chapter 11

~O-O~

With a quick visit to Gringotts, Harry learned more about the bungalow on a small island in the Mediterranean Sea. It had been passed down from his maternal grandparents to his mother and her sister. The goblin, Elbert, stated that Petunia Dursley (nee Evans) has signed it over to her sister as she did not want to deal with foreigners. Harry snorted, his aunt didn’t like “foreigners,” any more than she liked wizards. Laughing, he realized that if she ever went to the cottage, she would have been the foreigner. 

Lily Potter had arranged for a muggle property management company to rent out the cottage. They handled basic upkeep and repairs. Gringotts handled the payments and fees through muggle post on her behalf for all these years.

Gathering the needed information, Harry contacted the property management company to request they ready the cottage for his arrival in two weeks time. He asked they keep the cottage off the rental market for the next six weeks. This would give them a nice long holiday before they needed to return for Teddy’s first birthday. 

He had high hopes for a true holiday. Harry imagined his perfect relaxing vacation; teaching Teddy to walk, dining on Mediterranean food, meeting the perfect guy or girl on a moonlit stroll along the beach. Rolling his eyes as his thoughts, Harry could admit to himself that he wanted a vacation from the dance clubs. That had not been the best method to meet someone, well, not unless he was looking for a nameless hook up. 

While his teenage hormones were definitely interested in something more than grinding on the dance floor but he knew he was just lying to himself. He wanted a partner, a lover, a friend. 

~O-O~

Harry, Teddy, and Gussy used the international floo at the Ministry. The trip seemed to take the same amount of time as flooing locally but the landing jolted Harry, his hands scrambling to keep a tight hold on Teddy. The little boy started to fuss but he was distracted by the loud conversations at the Greek ministry. 

“Thank you, Hermione,” Harry said under his breath as he used her translation charms on the paperwork. Within a few minutes, they had the approval to apparate to their cottage on a nearby island. 

Gussy popped away with their shrunken luggage, leaving Harry to concentrate on getting there without splinching himself or Teddy. 

“Ready, Ted?” Harry asked, pressing a kiss to the top of his son’s head. He pictured his destination and apparated away. 

The cottage was a stone bungalow nestled at the bottom of sparsely covered hills with colorful shrubs surrounding it. Turning around, he saw they were on a dirt road with no neighbors in sight. He was told that the road led to town, just five kilometers away, and the beach was even closer. 

Entering the home, Harry looked around. The flooring was covered in brown tiles, and the walls a pale plaster. The house was naturally cool with windows throughout. The furniture looked dated, Harry wondered if it was the same furniture his grandparents and mother had used when they were on holiday here.

Gussy stepped out of the small kitchen with antiquated appliances, “Is a good thing we can cook with magic, Master Harry.”

Teddy babbled and squirmed, wanting to be put down. 

“Hold on, Love. I want to make sure it’s safe,” Harry carried Teddy through the small three bedroom cottage, noting that despite its outdated style, it was clean. He put Teddy down on the ground and the little boy crawled away to explore. 

“Gussy made windows and doors safe so Master Teddy can’t get outside,” the elf snapped her fingers and Teddy’s luggage unpacked itself into a rattan dresser. With a sweep of her hand, the single bed morphed into a large crib. 

“Thanks, Gussy,” Harry smiled fondly at her, “make sure you get settled too.”

Following Teddy through the house, Harry saw the swimming pool through patio doors. He scooped up the giggling boy and headed outside. The patio was set with a table and chairs, shaded by an awning. A few feet away, the swimming pool sparkled blue under the sunny skies. 

Screeching, Teddy tried to get to the shimmering water. Harry quickly charmed the pool with a barrier so the toddler couldn’t fall in, “we can swim in a bit, Ted.” 

Funny how a nine kilogram baby could weight so much when he is angry, Harry thought as he circled the outside of the house. Teddy continued announcing his displeasure, his hair turning red, as Harry showed him the small garden and gazebo. 

Going inside, he handed the boy off to Gussy, “Can you get him ready for the pool? I want to secure the garden and the house.” 

While he didn’t expect Death Eaters on holiday, Harry wasn’t going to take chances. He walked the perimeter of the property, casting protection and detection spells. “Protego totalum, salvio hexia, cave inimicum, repello Inimicum.” 

It had been less than a year since he, Hermione, and Ron had done the same thing with their tent. Shaking his head at those awful memories, Harry returned to the house, warding it, “protego horribilis,” before going inside.

~O-O~

After a quick dip in the saltwater pool, Teddy was worn out. Harry dried off the baby and changed him out of his waterproof charmed diaper. Dressed in warm pajamas, the little boy was placed in the crib without his typical complaints. 

Harry rinsed off in the tiny shower but the soap wouldn’t penetrate the sunblock charm he applied over his fair skin. With a towel wrapped around his waist, Harry walked through the house looking for Gussy. The little elf smiled as she explained he had been too enthusiastic on applying the charm. She offered to charm him next time as she had done for the baby. 

The wizard decided to spend the remainder of the afternoon exploring the little village and picking up groceries as Gussy watched over Teddy. Making sure he had the proper currency, he headed into town. 

The walk was pleasant, small homes dotting along the nearby hills and a few along the road. Entering the village, Harry smiled as he took in the small white buildings and colorful roofs. Most of the shops had carts outside, showing off their goods. People were strolling, up and down the main street, chatting and haggling over prices. 

Reaching the end of the town, Harry stood at the edge of a cliff. Staring out on the water, he mesmerized by the sea before him. The turquoise waters were gentle, a few boats dotting against a cloudless sky. It was picturesque. Not like the dark waters in that cave. The cave where he poured poison down Dumbledore’s throat. After several bone chilling minutes, Harry pulled himself from his memories. He told himself that there weren’t inferi under the surface, ready to pull him in. 

Harry wondered why he had recalled that horrific trip when seeing water that didn’t look anything like the black water in the cave. He hadn’t reacted at the pool a few hours earlier. The sea was under the endless blue sky here, not dark and enclosed. 

Scrubbing his face with his hands, he remembered Hermione explaining PTSD to him and Ron. She said that anything could trigger memories. Harry kicked a rock along the path, sending up a swirl of dust. He could honestly say he preferred suppressing his memories with firewhiskey to experiencing them. 

Shaking his head, Harry squared his shoulders and headed back to the main road. Memories or not, he had groceries to buy for his little family. 

~O-O~


	12. Chapter 12

~O-O~

The next few days were pleasant. Harry cooked breakfast as Gussy got Teddy ready for the day. They ate outside on the patio, enjoying the birds singing and butterflies fluttering around the flowering bushes. 

Teddy loved to crawl in the dirt, often piling up handfuls in his lap. Harry hadn’t realized how much the little boy was missing out on by spending all his time indoors. 

By mid-day, they were the pool, Harry teaching Teddy to put his face under the water and blow bubbles. Once Teddy was old enough, Harry planned on enrolling him in swim lessons. He debated taking lessons himself as he could only dog paddle. 

After Teddy’s afternoon nap, they would walk down to the beach and wade into the water. Teddy loved it when Harry held his hands, urging him to baby step into the water. Squealing in joy, he would slap his feet against the warm water knowing his father would keep him upright. 

Once he was dry, Teddy would escape from the towels and flop over into the sand. His pudgy hands scooping and releasing the sand. Harry was sensing a theme with Teddy, making a note to not spend too much on actual toys for the boy’s upcoming birthday. Perhaps he could fix up the tiny lot behind Grimmauld Place and buy Teddy a little sandbox. 

Dinner in town, at the only restaurant, finished off their day. The walk home at dusk was Harry’s favorite part of the day. A sleepy Teddy with his head tucked on Harry’s shoulder, as cool breezes helped them to their little cottage. It was perfect.

One night, after putting Teddy to bed, Harry was at loose ends. He had kept himself too busy to think. But that night, he wasn’t able to keep his thoughts under control. This time he wasn’t thinking about the war or about his sexuality. His mind raced down a path to his own mother, coming here with her family. He could imagine her in this cottage and at the beach with her parents and sister. 

His childhood. Missing out on holidays and swim lessons. Growing up without the love of a family. How could Aunt Petunia not care for him? He grumbled to himself. She had the same parents as his mother, the same childhood with holidays here, at this very cottage. 

He was alone but for Teddy. He was so lonely. 17 and alone but for a baby and house elves. He thought about George, who had a family but lost his other half, his twin. Lonely in a crowd. That was a thing, wasn’t it? 

“Merlin, I need a drink.” 

Harry asked Gussy to keep an eye on Teddy; he wanted to walk along the beach. 

~O-O~

The nightly walks on the beach helped Harry clear his mind. Walking in the darkness, his feet sinking a bit with each step with the sounds of the water lapping at the sand. 

The moon was larger this night, lighting up his solitary beach as he strolled towards the town. He could see a figure ahead, walking in his direction. Harry debated turning around, avoiding conversation with a stranger but he dismissed that thought. Everyone in town had been gracious to him and Teddy. All he had to do was greet the man politely and keep walking. 

The figure, dressed in dark clothing, was tall. Well, everyone was taller than him, Harry reminded himself. 

Squaring his shoulders, Harry prepared himself to say ‘good evening’ to the stranger in their native tongue. He smiled, glanced up at the man’s face and froze. 

Snape was staring at him, his mouth dropping open in an undignified manner. 

His old Potion’s professor was standing on the beach on a remote island in the Mediterranean, gaping at him. 

Severus T. Snape, the man who loved his mother and sacrificed his life for Harry, was in front of him, speechless. 

Harry recovered first, words pouring out of his mouth without a filter, “Sir, you’re alive. I mean, you are alive.” His hands came up as if to reach out and touch the man in front of him, Harry stammered, “but you were dead, then… then you disappeared. I mean, your body…” 

”Potter, cease screeching and gesticulating.” 

“It’s really you, Sir,” Harry tucked his hands into his pockets but quickly yanked them out to scrub away the tears streaming down his face, “you saved my life. You saved all our lives.” 

He stared at his former professor, noting the changes since he last saw him, deathly pale, bleeding out from a large gash on his neck. Snape stood at attention, his hair neatly pulled back into a ponytail, his open collar open on his dark button up shirt, his shirt untucked over dark slacks. Despite the dim moonlight, Harry could tell that his pallor looked healthy, his neck healed. 

“Evening, Potter,” Snape said before turning and walking away.

“But, Sir!” Harry exclaimed, trying to match the other man’s walking speed.

“I said, evening,” Snape dismissed him and kept on walking. 

Stopping abruptly, Harry remained in his spot, watching Severus Snape walk away. 

~O-O~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dun… Snape is alive!
> 
> Come say Hi on Tumblr:   
> <http://goodgodhenry.tumblr.com/>


	13. Chapter 13

~O-O~

Unable to fathom that he saw Snape the night before, Harry paced around the cottage with Teddy chasing him on all fours. The baby thought this was a game as they went from room to room. Harry debating sending a message to Hermione and Ron but he didn’t think they would believe him. 

He wanted to find him again, to tell him that he had been cleared of wrongdoing, to tell him that he was a hero. Harry knew that Snape wouldn’t believe him. Perhaps he should get a copy of the Daily Prophet, when they announced that Snape was innocent. Maybe he could send Gussy to get an owl, then he could write to Kingsley for a copy of the Order of Merlin, First Class. 

In the end, Harry did nothing. He kept to his routine, playing with Teddy, dinner in the village, and his nightly walks along the beach. He did not run into Snape again until he spotted him at the grocer two days later. They saw each other; Harry nodding politely while Snape ignored him. Deciding that Snape wanted privacy, Harry did not go out of his way to say anything at all. Continuing his shopping, Harry grabbed the ingredients for chicken noodle soup in hopes of comforting Teddy. His little boy had a case of the sniffles. 

With Teddy still feeling poorly, Harry kept them home, snuggling on the couch and reading books. By mid-day, the baby’s temperature had gone up. Concerned, Harry contacted a healer on a nearby island, however, the receptionist said he was away on holiday. 

Harry gave Teddy a cool bath while Gussy visited several apothecaries on nearby islands for a children’s fever reducer but they were out of stock. During past healer visits, Teddy’s healer had cautioned Harry that muggle medicine would do very little for the magical offspring of a werewolf and a metamorphus witch but he had to try. Harry gave Teddy a dose of infant paracetamol but the fever didn’t wane at all. 

Teddy slept fitfully throughout the day then woke up crying, tugging at his ears. He must have an ear infection, Harry thought as he carried the impossibly hot child. Teddy’s fever had spiked dramatically since his bath two hours ago.

Without a floo or an owl, Harry couldn’t reach St. Mungo’s or Teddy’s healer, nor could he apparate that far with a baby. He called for Gussy and the elf returned with a potion bottle of adult fever reducer, it was the only kind she could find. Just then Teddy had a seizure in Harry’s arms. 

Sobbing out loud, Harry held the baby tightly as his little body convulsed. Teddy’s eyes rolled back and he fell unconscious, his body still shaking. 

Terrified, Harry accioed his wand as he rushed to the bathroom, Teddy in his arms. Gussy ran the tub, filling it with cold water. Harry climbed into the tub, submerging Teddy’s body into the cold water. Gussy placed a wet washcloth across the baby’s forehead. With his one hand cradling Teddy, his other hand tightly gripping his wand, Harry desperately cast a Patronus charm.

~O-O~

At a seaside bungalow, Severus Snape was leafing through a book, leaning back in a chaise lounge. This island had proven to be a place of solace for him. He had anonymity here and the locals were uninterested in a solitary man. 

Seeing Harry Potter, of all people, here, had shaken him. He had decided to put his past behind him and only focus on the here and now. That was hard to do now that idiot boy showed up, bringing with him memories of bleeding out on the filthy floor of the Shrieking Shack, the Dark Lord, and Dumbledore. 

Sitting in the shade, he appreciated the cool breeze. Everything was perfect for an afternoon of reading but he couldn’t concentrate on his book. Flashbacks had been constant since he saw Potter, leaving him unable to focus. Truly, it was his own fault, he had come here based on a recommendation by Potter’s mother from when she was young. Lily Potter painted a picture of the perfect place, a sparsely populated island in the Mediterranean with moderate weather year around. 

His musings were interrupted by a shimmery patronus of a stag. Scoffing at the stag, Severus closed his book. Before he could dismiss it, he heard Potter’s frightened plea:

“Please Sir, my son is deathly ill. His fever is much too high, I don’t know how or where to reach a healer. The local healer is on holiday. I beg of you, please help.” 

Severus leapt from the lounger and raced into the house. Grabbing numerous potion bottles, he dropped them into a bag he transfigured from a sofa pillow. Casting a cushioning charm, he pulled the location from the waiting Patronus. 

‘Merlin, what was that boy thinking. What was he? 17? Idiot boy must have knocked up that Weasley girl.’ Severus thought as he disapparated. 

He arrived at bottom of the road to the cottage but the strong wards kept him out. A sense of urgency had him sending his own patronus, “Potter, take down the wards,” rather than taking the time to dismantle them. 

A moment later he felt the wards drop and he raced for the door. A house elf let him in and pointed him towards the bathroom. 

Potter was in the bathtub, fully dressed with a naked baby in his arms. The baby’s complexion was flushed, his blue eyes glassy. He was awake but could barely keep his eyes open. Assessing the situation, Severus cast a diagnosis spell on the child. Double ear infections, dehydrated, and a temperature nearing 40 celsius, much too high. 

“Good, you have him in the tub,” Severus rummaged in his bag. Grabbing a child fever reducer, he asked, “he’s twelve kilograms?” 

“Nine, Sir,” Potter’s voice was wrecked, “he had a seizure about ten minutes ago.”

“That’s not uncommon,” he busied himself diluting the potion for the child. “I am going to spell this directly into his stomach,” he told the teen, “it will take about fifteen minutes before you will see any difference.” 

“Thank you,” Harry sobbed, his tears flowing down his face. 

“He is still suffering from ear infections. I need to return to my house to grab a potion for the infection. I should be back in five minutes.” Severus told him as he apparated away. 

~O-O~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please don’t worry about Teddy, he had a Febrile Seizure. He will fully recover with no future ill effects.
> 
> “A febrile seizure is a convulsion in a child caused by a spike in body temperature, often from an infection. They occur in young children with normal development without a history of neurologic symptoms. It can be frightening when your child has a febrile seizure, and the few minutes it lasts can seem like an eternity. Fortunately, they're usually harmless and typically don't indicate a serious health problem.” ~ Mayo Clinic  
> https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/febrile-seizure/symptoms-causes/syc-20372522


	14. Chapter 14

~O-O~

Harry found himself still nodding dumbly at the space where Snape had been moments before. He had come and he had helped Teddy. 

Leaning down, Harry kissed the top of Teddy’s head, not noticing his tears were merging with the bath water. “You’re gonna be fine, Ted. Snape helped you. He is an amazing potion master, probably the best in the world. You are gonna be fine, Love.” 

Gussy twittered around the bathroom, unsure what to do with herself, “Master Harry, I be making water cold again.” 

The temperature of the water cooled significantly but Harry didn’t notice, he kept babbling to Teddy in a soothing voice. The baby was lethargic, barely moving in Harry’s arms. 

A loud pop announced Snape’s return. The dour potion master held up a potion bottle, “This will fight the infection. Similar to muggle antibiotics but much faster.” 

Snape ran another diagnostic and found the fever a bit lower. He wasn't sure if it was the potion working or the cold bath but either way, the child was in less danger. “I will spell it into his stomach in a few minutes. I want the fever reducer to be absorbed completely.” 

Nodding again, Harry jostled Teddy higher up in his arms, so the baby was almost sitting up, “Good, I don’t think I could get him to take it. He’s been refusing liquids all day.”

After five agonizing minutes, Snape spelled the potion into Teddy’s stomach and checked his temperature again. It had lowered again by a half a degree. “I think you can take him out of the bathtub now.” 

Harry handed Teddy to Gussy, afraid to drop him as he stood up. He cast a half-hearted attempt at a drying charm on his clothes before he took Teddy back. Wrapping the small child in a towel, Harry sloshed his way to Teddy’s room. Carefully drying him off, Harry dressed him in a nappy and a bodysuit. He could hear Snape in the other room, instructing Gussy to warm soup for the child. 

“Oh Teddy,” Harry sighed as the baby snuggled into his shoulder, tucking his head in. “Don’t go to sleep, baby. You need to drink something.” 

~O-O~

Potter entered the kitchen with the child nestled in his arms. His clothing was still wet but not dripping, and his dark hair plastered down on his head. 

The house elf waved her hand at him, drying him completely. Potter’s hair remained a mess, flattened in some spots while standing on end in others. 

“Master Teddy be needing soup.” 

“He’s half asleep. Maybe we can put the broth in a bottle instead of trying to get him to eat or drink from his sippy cup.”

Severus watched as Potter transfigured a sippy cup into a baby bottle, handing it to the elf to fill. Potter murmured gently to get the child to suckle at the bottle. Severus felt uncomfortable as if he was intruding on a family moment. Busying himself with another diagnostic charm, he was thrilled to see the child’s fever was down again. 

“Is the boy’s mother off getting a healer?” Severus asked, wondering where the Weasley chit was when her child was ill. 

Potter’s eyebrows shot up, disappearing under his bangs, “Sir?”

“He’s not a ginger but I assume he is a Weasley.” Severus shook his head disapprovingly at the teenager, “Couldn’t keep it in your pants, Potter?”

Snorting, Potter turned so Severus could see the baby’s little face, “Sir, allow me to introduce you to Edward Remus Lupin Potter, or Teddy for short.” 

Gobsmacked, Severus stepped back, “The werewolf’s offspring.” 

‘How did I not see that coming?’ He asked himself. He didn’t know what happened in the final battle, he didn’t know the casualties. All he knew was that the Dark Lord was dead and he was free. 

“Then he and Miss Tonks are deceased.” 

“Yes, Remus and Tonks are gone,” Potter kissed the child’s forehead, “Andi couldn’t take care of him so I adopted him.” 

Giving a non-committal noise, Severus gestured towards the bottle, “It’s empty. See if you can get him to drink more.” 

Gussy refilled the bottle before popping out of the room. 

Potter prodded the baby, the nipple at his mouth, “can you drink a little more, Love?” 

Once the child was drinking again, Potter addressed Severus, “Sir, I really can’t thank you enough. You saved Teddy’s life.” 

“Don’t be dramatic, Potter. The child had a febrile seizure. They are common with small children when they have a high fever.” Severus set up two potion bottles on the kitchen counter, labeling instructions on them with a wave of his wand. “You will need to give him more fever reducer in four hours. It’s already diluted for his weight.” Holding up the blue bottle, he continued, “this is the potion for his ear infections, you can give him this one in the morning.” 

“I will,” Potter nodded, glancing at the clock to make note of the time. He let out a short laugh, then hiccuped, “I can’t put him down. I was so scared of losing him.” Potter looked as if he was about to burst into tears again. 

Terrified that Potter would want comfort from him, he accioed his bag and spoke curtly, “Send me a patronus if his condition changes.” 

He apparated away as Potter was still thanking him. 

~O-O~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Snape! Yay! 
> 
> Come say Hi on Tumblr:   
> <http://goodgodhenry.tumblr.com/>


	15. Chapter 15

~O-O~

Shaken by Teddy’s severe illness and the feeling of helplessness, Harry vowed to never find himself in this situation again. He would never put his son in jeopardy without access to a healer or potions.

He walked through the small cottage with Teddy in his arms for hours, making a mental list. First he needed an owl or a floo to communicate to the outside world from this remote island, then he needed a supply of potions for infants to keep on hand at all times, and finally, he needed a healer, one who could travel at a moment’s notice. 

Needing his hands, Harry transfigured a blanket into a sling. He gently placed the baby in the sling across his front, soothing back Teddy’s lank hair. Taking a quill, he wrote a desperate letter to St. Mungo’s about traveling emergency healers and placed an extensive order for infant potions. He wrote to the Greek Ministry of Magic about connecting the cottage’s fireplace into the Floo network. 

Harry asked Gussy if she could travel to the Ministry and request that they send the letters to St. Mungo’s through their floo network as they didn’t have time to wait for an owl to travel to England. 

She popped away, leaving Harry with thoughts of his first true friend, Hedwig. Ever since he had lost her, he hadn’t been able to consider getting an owl. So without an owl of his own, Harry had always asked Gussy or Kreacher to go to Owlery near Grimmauld Place or he asked his friends’ owls to wait while he quickly wrote back. 

It was time, he told himself, time to let Hedwig go. When he returned home, he needed to visit Eeylops Owl Emporium. 

Thinking of time, Harry glanced at the clock on the wall. It was almost time for Teddy’s final dose of fever reducer. Not wanting to attempt spelling the vital potion into the baby’s stomach, Harry readied a bottle of water before waking Teddy up.

“That’s it, little man. Wake up,” Harry removed Teddy from the sling, sitting the boy up in his lap. 

Teddy’s eyes were sleepy but not glassy like before and his color had returned to normal. 

“Do your ears still hurt?” Harry asked. 

The baby’s hands went to his ears, and instead of crying, he leaned forward and pressed his face to Harry’s chest. 

Grabbing the potion bottle from the counter, Harry nudged Teddy into looking up, “Can you drink this for me? Snape made it for you. It will make you feel better.” 

Tipping the vial into Teddy’s mouth, Harry laughed at the baby’s sour expression, “Doesn’t taste too good, right? It’s okay, Ted, it’s okay. Here, have some water.”

“Dada,” Teddy said accusingly and gulped down half the bottle. 

Teddy was still looking cross as Harry changed his wet diaper. 

After feeding the baby a bit of applesauce and some chicken noodle soup, Harry allowed Teddy out of his arms for the first time since his fever spiked. Crawling to his toys, the little boy played happily for twenty minutes. As he started to tilt sideways in exhaustion, Harry scooped him up and read to him until he fell asleep. 

Gussy returned to find Harry sleeping standing up by Teddy’s crib. 

~O-O~

Rolling over, Harry pressed his face deeper into his pillow. The room was too bright, it must be morning, he thought. Remembering Teddy’s illness, Harry began flailing in the tangle of blankets until he fell out of bed. 

Rushing from his bedroom, he almost ran over Gussy.

“Master Teddy be sleeping.” 

“Is he okay?” Panicking, he sidestepped the elf and hurried to the crib. Placing his hand gently on Teddy’s forehead, he sighed in relief. 

Harry found Gussy in the kitchen preparing breakfast and feeding an owl bites of pita bread. He took over feeding the bird and smoothed the feathers on its head. 

After Harry grabbed several letters from the bird, it hooted before flying out the kitchen window. 

He opened the letter with the St. Mungo’s seal first and quickly scanned through. They did not have traveling healers, but they encouraged him to bring Teddy in for a check-up when he was back in Britain. Rolling his eyes, he turned to the second sheet of parchment, it was his potions order. They had denied most of his order as it was not prescribed by a healer. The remainder of his order would be sent through owl delivery to his home at 12 Grimmauld Place instead of the cottage as they do not handle international deliveries. 

Groaning at their incompetence and lack of compassion, Harry put his head down on the table, barely missing the plate that Gussy slid in front of him. 

“Thank you, Gussy.” Harry said as he sipped his tea. He debated opening the second letter as it didn’t have a return address. 

Still grumbling, he ripped open the envelope. It was from the Greek Ministry, they had been happy to send and accept the letters from England through their floo as this was an emergency situation and then forward all his correspondence through their owl. They also informed Harry that a wizard named Nikos would be by later in the day to add his fireplace to the Floo Network. 

The final letter was from Teddy’s healer at St. Mungo’s. He wrote that in an unofficial capacity, he was asking his friend, a healer in Cyprus, to come and check on Teddy.

Tears sprung up in Harry’s eyes and he quickly keyed the healer into the cottage wards as requested in the letter. 

~O-O~

After Healer Khaled’s visit, Harry apparated to Greece with Teddy in his arms. He was going to get an owl, rather than wait to return home, and visit an apothecary. If he couldn’t get infant potions from St. Mungo’s, he would brew them himself. 

After spending an obscene amount of money on cauldrons, scales, phials, and ingredients, Harry took Teddy into the magical pet store. The baby was thrilled with creatures in the glass enclosures. They saw cats, owls, puffskeins, and snakes. 

Glancing around the shop, Harry made sure no one was watching before he began to converse with a little green snake. Teddy watched his father speak in Parseltongue and tried to imitate the sounds that made the snake dance. 

Several minutes later, they said goodbye to the snake and headed to the owl enclosure. A few owls allowed Teddy to pet them but it was an affectionate tawny owl that stood out from the rest. 

“What shall we name her?” Harry asked the little boy.

“Duck!” 

Rolling his eyes at Teddy, Harry tucked the owl into a travel cage, “we should give her a fitting name, like Hera or Athena.” 

Teddy didn’t seem impressed, repeating his original suggestion. 

Returning to the cottage, Gussy took Teddy for a nap while Harry unpacked their bounty. 

Alone in the quiet kitchen, Harry released the owl from the cage so it could explore the house. He opened the kitchen window and the little owl circled the cottage several times before landing back on the table, hooting softly at Harry.

He wanted to give the owl a strong meaningful name like Hedwig had. Harry grabbed one of the few books in the cottage and glanced through one about Ancient Greece with listings of Gods and Goddesses. Having recently been through the war, it seemed that both Hera and Athena were out of the running. While Hera was known as a protectress, she was jealous and vengeful. And Athena was literally the Goddess of War. 

Continuing to flip through the book, he snorted as he saw the name Hermione, meaning messenger. It was fitting for an owl but he thought his best friend might not find it as amusing. 

He stopped at the name, Lia, the bringer of good news. Harry pet the owl on her small feathery head, “Lia? What do you think of that?” 

Hooting, the owl leaned into his touch, as he repeated her name, “Lia.”

“Well, Lia, how would you like to deliver your first letter?” Harry asked as he moved around the homey kitchen. He ripped up a piece of pita for the owl and set up her food bowl with pellets. 

With the owl settled down to eat, Harry sat down to write a short note to Snape. It had taken about twelve drafts to craft a short un-emotional letter of gratitude. Harry knew that he couldn’t gush or be emotional at all in his note. Nor could he mention the Wizarding World or Snape’s hero status. He needed to thank the man and give him the privacy he so desperately wanted. 

~O-O~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know that there are two patron saints named Hedwig? One of which is the patron saint of orphans: Saint Hedwig of Andechs (1174–1243), Duchess of Silesia. I may have cried a little after learning that…
> 
> Come say Hi on Tumblr:   
> <http://goodgodhenry.tumblr.com/>


	16. Chapter 16

~O-O~

It had been almost 48 hours since he had been at Potter’s cottage, assisting with the werewolf’s offspring. Two days and Severus hadn’t stopped thinking about everything that had transpired.

Potter, he huffed as he thought about the boy again. That idiot boy didn’t stop at just being a Savior. Taking on the Dark Lord wasn’t enough, now he was raising Lupin’s son.

Severus was surprised that Potter hadn’t contacted him again. Obviously, the child was healthy now. He had no doubt that his potion would have cleared up the ear infections. Remembering the boy’s flair for the dramatics, Severus expected to be showered with praise and gifts.

Making a pot of tea the muggle way, Severus kept his hands busy.

And that idiot Lupin. Not only did he marry, he had a child in the midst of a war. A war that took his life and the life of his wife, leaving their child an orphan.

He wondered who else had lost their lives during the battle. Students, professors, members of the Order of the Phoenix; all had fought. How many lives wasted? All because of the Dark Lord and cowards like himself.

A coward, Severus thought, I am a coward. No matter what good he did keeping Potter alive, it wasn’t enough to absolve him of his wrongdoings.

Pouring a cup of tea, he found his hands shaking as his inner turmoil upset his stomach.

An owl arrived, tapping at his kitchen window. He allowed it entry. The tawny owl hooted and held out its leg until Severus removed the letter. Without waiting for a nibble or a petting, the owl flew away.

Sure enough, it was a letter from Potter but rather than gushing with emotion and news of the Wizarding World, the letter was taciturn.

_“Dear Professor Snape,_

_Thank you for your assistance with Teddy. He has been seen by a healer and declared healthy. Words cannot convey how much I appreciate you coming to our rescue with your expertise and healing potions._

_I truly am sorry for disturbing your privacy, I shan’t do it again._

_Sincerely,_  
_Harry”_

Puzzled, Severus read the letter again. It was definitely from Potter. He knew Potter’s abysmal handwriting but he certainly didn’t know this mature reserved Potter.

~O-O~

 Harry didn’t expect a reply from Snape so he was not surprised that he never received one. He continued his holiday as before, spending the day with Teddy, playing on the beach, splashing in the pool, or wandering around town.

After Teddy’s bedtime, Harry went into the garden shed, now a potion lab. He started with an infant fever reducer, throwing out batch after batch until he had a perfect potion. Finally finding his groove, he made potions for infections and coughs; all in varying strengths. After several failed attempts at Essence of Dittany, Harry determined it would be a better use of his time to purchase that potion. He still wanted to tackle bruise paste but that would require some time with George Weasley.

“Isn’t this ironic?” Harry said out loud as he rolled his eyes at his actions. He was taking up potion making as if it was his calling. If he had to think about it, Teddy’s illness should have never gotten so far. Harry should have been able to diagnose his child as having something more than just the sniffles. He should have been able to tell that Teddy had an infection in both his ears. He could have gotten him help before it had become an emergency situation.

Shaking his head as if that would send the thoughts away, Harry headed into the cottage with a handful of Pepper Up potion vials.

He peeked in on Teddy, the boy sleeping on his front with his rump up in the air before he headed to the living room. Looking around, Harry didn’t feel like reading or watching the telly. He had too many competing thoughts in his head.

Groaning, he sat down heavily on the couch before standing up again. Lia flew around him and then to the doorway.

Heading to Gussy’s bedroom, Harry knocked and asked if she could continue watching over the baby while he went for a walk on the beach.

With Lia flying beside him, Harry strolled down the darkened beach. If only he had his broom, he could take flight; flying faster than his own thoughts.  
~O-O~

“Ooot, Leeeeaaa!” Teddy informed his father, his tiny brow furrowed. Their new owl hooted happily as she ate cereal from the baby’s hand.

“Yes, Lia says hoot, hoot!”

Harry looked around the disaster of a kitchen as he ate another handful of dry cereal. The fridge, probably original to the cottage, had died a silent death in the middle of the night. While most of the food hadn’t yet spoiled, the warm milk was definitely not consumable.

The entire contents of the fridge where spread out on the countertops as Harry and Gussy tried to figure out what was salvageable.

“I’ll head to town to buy a new fridge and pick up groceries,” Harry told Gussy, “But we can keep a freezing charm on the current fridge until the new one gets delivered.”

“Master Harry be getting stove too.”

Taking another look around the dated room, Harry declared that they might as well refurbish the whole kitchen. Wandering the house, Harry began remodeling the cottage in his head, “New cabinets for sure. Replace all the dated brown tiles? New furniture?”

Casting sunscreen charms on Teddy and himself, Harry plopped a hat on Teddy’s head and they set off on their long walk into town.

Starting at the market, Harry knew that he would find everything he needed from fruits and veggies to advice on where to buy new appliances.

“Nana,” Teddy said, gesturing to the stall of bananas. Harry added a bunch to his baske, and headed over to the shopkeeper.

He inquired about a new fridge and the older woman recommended a shop on a nearby island.

“Livraison par bateau, un semaine.” She said holding up one finger, blending French and English, “delivery, one week.”

Harry was in awe of her, along with the other townsfolk. They spoke Arabic, Greek, French, and English depending on who they were talking to, switching back and forth. Nodding along, he asked about remodeling too.

Determining that he absolutely did not want to install kitchen cabinets or drill out the tiles in the cottage, he made arrangements with a local craftsman to update the cottage using photographs from real estate listings and numerous catalogs. The work would begin when they returned to Grimmauld Place in a few days time.

By now, Teddy was cranky and ready for his afternoon nap. Harry rushed back to the grocery market to finish his shopping only to find the shopkeeper had it all packed up for him along with several bags of ice. He didn’t have to heart to tell her the ice was unnecessary. Thanking her profusely, he trudged down the road arms laden with groceries and a very heavy baby.

Once they were down the road, safely out of sight of the muggles, Harry cast a shrinking charm on the bags and a featherlight charm on Teddy for the remainder of the walk home.

~O-O~

Harry was pleased with his decision to cut his holiday short. He wanted to be home, on familiar grounds, as he explored his next steps in life. In his younger years, Harry snorted as he remembered that he was 17, his career aspirations were to be an Auror. With Teddy in his life, that didn’t seem to be the right fit for him. Where did all this leave him? He wondered as he walked along the beach one last time.

Perhaps he should just concentrate on the next two months rather than worry about his future. Teddy’s first birthday was coming up and then he could continue to fix up Grimmauld Place, maybe tackle the house at Godric’s Hollow. Groaning at his uncertainty, Harry kicked his foot into the sand, sending it spraying into the water.

He had been pleased to finish his education with his Newts but now he was wondering if it was enough. He wanted to more, but what? Hermione couldn’t wait for Uni; driven by a thirst for knowledge. Ron was motivated by adrenaline, wishing to fight crime or play professional Quidditch. George was interested in fun and ended up as a successful entrepreneur.

What did he want? He knew what the Wizarding World wanted of him. To continue to fight on their behalf, to be their hero, their poster boy. He knew he didn’t want to be an Auror or to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts. He didn’t want to be on the cover of Witch Weekly nor did he want to return to Hogwarts.

Grumbling and downtrodden, Harry returned to the cottage. Sleep did not come easy that night.

~O-O~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I truly wish there was a magical detection spell to tell if your baby has an ear infection.
> 
> Come say Hi on Tumblr:  
> <http://goodgodhenry.tumblr.com/>


	17. Chapter 17

~O-O~

Settling down at home for two days, also known as getting Teddy's routine back to normal, Harry finally set out invitations for tea to Andi and his friends, staggering the visits for the next few days.

When Andi stepped out of the floo, Harry noted that she looked even healthier than ever. Terrified, Harry instantly convinced himself that she would want Teddy back in her custody. Especially once she found out about his seizure.

Harry held his breath as she gushed over Teddy, kissing him and asking if he was being good for his daddy. Andi must have noticed his reaction because she reached out and squeezed his hand, "What's going on, Harry?"

"He got really sick, Andi. I am so sorry," Harry confessed as tears filled his eyes.

Putting the back of her hand to Teddy's forehead, Andi felt for a fever then finding a normal temperature, she ruffled his dark brown hair, "he feels fine."

Swiping at the tears daring to escape from his eyes, Harry stared at the wall, "He's fine now but he had a double ear infection and a high fever." Choking on his words, he added, "Teddy had a seizure."

"Oh Harry," Andi crossed the room with Teddy on her hip and embraced Harry tightly, "you must have been terrified."

Calling for Kreacher, Andi requested tea as Teddy played on the floor. She waited until Harry had fortified himself with a cup before asking him what happened.

Omitting Snape's identity, Harry told her the story about the potions master who had helped them, "I should have apparated Teddy to St Mungo's. I could have done it in five jumps."

Placing her teacup on the table, Andi leveled a stern gaze on Harry, "You would have either been magically depleted and landed in the wrong place, or you could have splinched Teddy. And not knowing friendly apparition points, you could have been seen by muggles or been injured by dangerous terrain."

Again, Andi took his hand into hers, "Harry, you are a wonderful father. I am so grateful that you have adopted Teddy."

"What is a parent to do when they are completely helpless?" Harry asked as he watched Teddy cruise around the room, using the furniture to propel himself forward.

The next day, the conversation with Hermione was eerily similar to the one he had with Andi. Except Hermione gave advice per her usual manner, harassing him until he came up with the solution on his own, "Harry, what would have helped you in that situation?"

"Becoming a healer!" He retorted sarcastically.

She merely raised her eyebrow at him until he repeated "becoming a healer" with certainty in his voice.

Within minutes, she had a parchment filled with suggestions, from book recommendations to schooling options, and finally urged him to visit Madam Pomfrey.

~O-O~

Planning Teddy's first birthday took over Harry's life. He decided to have a small gathering at their home. Mrs. Weasley flooed over within minutes of her invitation arriving by Harry's new owl, Lia. She kissed Teddy then called the house elves to help her prepare for the party.

After his suggestion of chocolate biscuits drew a glare from the Weasley matriarch, Harry asked her to handle the menu while he got the backyard ready in case the weather was nice the day of Teddy's party. In all honesty, being outside was all that kept Harry from sticking his foot in his mouth around her.

In the days that followed, Harry, Kreacher, and Gussy cleared the tiny lot behind Grimmauld Place leaving the basement kitchen in Mrs. Weasley's hands.

Recalling his years of herbology experience at Hogwarts, Harry tilled the soil and planted grass seed, layering it with charms to speed up growth. A thick grassy lawn that would have taken months in the muggle world, sprouted and grew in a matter of days.

Gussy created a small garden of safe magical and muggle plants with a sandbox for Teddy along the back of the lot. Kreacher smoothed out the area closest to the house, layering it with gravel for a patio.

Harry ended up visiting a few muggle store to purchase outdoor table and chairs, taking much more time than he needed as Andi had joined Mrs. Weasley in party planning. He could admit to himself that he was afraid to return home.

Teddy's birthday arrived and 12 Grimmauld Place was packed full of people. Harry's concerns over Teddy crawling around in fancy dress robes (a tradition that Andi informed him of as she presented the toddler with formal robes with the Black family crest) were unnecessary. The one year old's feet never touched the floor; he was passed from one person to another.

Moving past Neville and Kingsley, Harry headed to the garden to say hello to a heavily pregnant Fleur, kissing her on both cheeks, "Soon Teddy won't be the only child in the family."

"Our child will be lucky to have you as an honorary uncle, Harry," Fleur's pretty accent wove through the words and Harry nodded along not quite positive of what she said until he replayed it his head.

He offered her his arm and escorted her to the long table laden with food. He didn't know much about pregnant women but if he had learned anything from Dudley's obsession with the telly, he knew they needed access to a variety of foods.

Mrs. Weasley had outdone herself yet again as she catered to every taste from savory to sweet, from sausage rolls to fairy cakes to mini tarts.

When it was finally time for Teddy's cake, Harry held his boy and helped him blow out his candle. With Teddy's hair a rich magenta, Harry bounced his son in his arms as he looked around at his family and friends. Edward Remus Lupin may have had a rough start to life but Harry was sure that his future was going to be bright.

~O-O~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say Hi on Tumblr:   
> <http://goodgodhenry.tumblr.com/>


	18. Chapter 18

~O-O~

Harry drafted a letter to Madam Pomfrey inquiring about her well being and describing how Teddy’s illness inspired him to consider healing as a career. He asked a few questions regarding the difference between mediwitches, mediwizards, and healers. 

He spent a few evenings looking through the Black family library finding a few books about healing spells and home remedies. Harry’s interest grew as he learned about Dragon Pox and Vanishing Sickness. He laughed out loud as he read through some of the ridiculous remedies, his favorite was jumping backward under a full moon to cure Spattergroit.

Lia happily delivered letters from Madam Pomfrey and Hermione during breakfast. Harry had his hands full with Teddy as the baby lunged for the tiny owl. 

“Gentle, Ted, gentle.” 

The owl hooted at them and flew around in circles as Teddy clapped his hands. Harry finally liberated the letters as Kreacher provided Lia with treats. 

Gussy helped Teddy feed himself as Harry settled down with a cup of tea. Hermione’s letter was a simple note letting him know she would be stopping by the next night while the letter from Poppy, as she asked him to call her, explained quite a bit.

As a parent interested in caring for their child, a few courses in healing be appropriate but if he wanted a career then there were several options. She indicated that mediwitches and mediwizards were was similar to muggle nursing while healers were equivalent to muggle doctors. She also mentioned an additional field, trauma medics. They were rare and usually assigned to teams of Aurors. 

Poppy invited him to visit next month when Hogwarts let out for the summer. Writing back, Harry thanked her profusely and let her know he looked forward to visiting her. He sent the tawny owl off and turned his attention back to Teddy.

~O-O~

“You can’t make him walk, Harry.” 

Harry rolled his eyes at Hermione and continued holding Teddy’s hands as the baby marched across the sitting room floor, “he is walking.”

“Really? Let go of his hands then.”

“Fine, he’s not walking yet. But look at him, he wants to,” Harry allowed Teddy to lead and they ended up in front of Hermione, “All the books say he should be walking now.”

“Book, peas,” Teddy asked sweetly.

Hermione pulled the baby into her lap and gestured for Harry to grab a board book. She read with Teddy, allowing him to turn the pages and babble nonsensically about the colorful images.   
After he lost interest in reading, Hermione let him down to crawl around and play with his toys.

She turned her attention to Harry, “You can’t keep obsessing over those baby milestones. He is crawling and cruising the furniture. He is developmentally where he is supposed to be at 12 months.” 

“Logically, I know this but I kind of want him ahead of the curve.” 

The two friends talked through the dinner and Gussy offered to give Teddy a bath so they could continue chatting. They talked about Hermione heading off to Uni and Harry’s potential schooling opportunities. 

With all the talk of healing and Teddy’s sudden illness, Harry’s grew uncomfortable. He had been holding back about how the baby had been healed. Despite his hesitation, Harry felt like he needed to tell someone and who better than Hermione. 

“Um, Mione,” he stammered, “I… I have to tell you something.”

Waiting patiently, Hermione shifted in the armchair to get more comfortable.

Harry ran his hand through his hair, leaving some strands standing, “I ran into Snape on the island. He is the one who got Teddy the potions.”

Hermione snorted, “You are so ridiculous.”

“He survived, Mione. There is a reason his body was never found.” Harry’s tone was serious, his expression unwavering, “I ran into him on the island and he didn’t want anything to do with me.” 

Interrupting his story, Hermione held up her hand and staggered from the chair towards him, “You aren’t joking? Professor Snape is alive.” She crossed to the couch, dropping beside him and taking his hands in hers. 

Nodding fervently, Harry continued, “He’s alive.”

“Tell me everything, from the beginning.”

Harry recounted seeing Snape on his walk along the beach to seeing him in the shops and then sending him the emergency patronus. As he told Hermione about Snape assuming Ginny was Teddy’s mother, they broke into helpless giggles.

He imitated Snape’s distinct baritone, “Couldn’t keep it in your pants, Potter?”

“He’s alive, Harry.” 

“Yes and he saved Teddy’s life,” Harry smiled softly, “I sent him a short thank you note. I am trying to respect his privacy. Please don’t tell anyone, not even Ron.”

“Ron won’t say,” Hermione reconsidered and nodded, “I won’t tell Ron.”

~O-O~

Harry immersed himself in reviewing various healing programs both in locally and abroad although he knew he didn’t want to leave London. While he still wanted to talk to Madam Pomfrey, he was leaning towards becoming a healer. He asked Teddy’s healer if he had time to talk. 

With Teddy in Gussy’s care, Harry met with Robert at a restaurant. They chatted for about an hour about healing programs and specialties. Robert explained that St. Mungo’s healers never left the hospital, only private healers for wealthy people made house calls.

“The Battle at Hogwarts is the only time I have heard of healers going onsite,” the healer shrugged, “I asked the head healer to let me come to you on the island but I was denied.”

Clapping his hand to Robert’s shoulder, Harry thanked him for sending Healer Khaled in his stead. 

Overwhelmed by information, Harry couldn’t wait to relax at the pub with Ron and George. After a few pints, the three men were laughing. 

“He stepped back, bumping into this huge bloke and spilling his beer,” Harry told Ron, “and the guy almost punched him.” 

George held up his glass, “I bought him another beer so it’s all good.”

“Yet, you won’t go back to the club with me,” Harry smirked. 

“You are a bad dancer. I don’t want to be seen with you,” George retorted. 

“I’m a better dancer than you.”

“Prove it!”

“Have a good night, boys,” Ron rolled his eyes at both of them, “I am going home.” 

Ron apprarated home while Harry and George stood outside the pub debating which muggle dance club they should visit. Eventually, Harry admitted he didn’t want to go dancing and they ended up back in Harry’s sitting room, sipping firewhiskey and chatting late into the night. 

~O-O~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I knew Harry couldn’t keep Snape a secret for long!


	19. Chapter 19

~O-O~

With Teddy finally walking, well, running, Harry needed bruise paste. He asked Gussy to watch over Teddy as he headed for Diagon Alley. He picked up samoas and chicken tikka before disguising himself to enter the Leaky Cauldron.

Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes was quiet on a weekday afternoon with children at primary school or away at Hogwarts. Harry removed the appearance charm as George greeted him warmly, “I’m starving, Mate.”

“So Teddy started walking yesterday morning and by afternoon he was running around like a tiny little drunk. He crashes into furniture or falls on his hands and knees. The cushioning charms aren’t doing enough. I need bruise paste,” Harry shrugged, “actually, I would love it if you taught me how to make it.”

“Sure,” George replied jovially, “can you get away tomorrow night? Ron is watching the store then.”

They sat in the backroom, eating and catching up. When Harry was ready to ready to head out, George handed him a small carrier bag.

“What’s this?”

Smirking, George pulled out a toddler sized shirt from the bag, “So in the Muggle World, they are obsessed with magic and wizards. I got Teddy a shirt.”

Taking the t-shirt from him, Harry flicked it open. The white shirt unfolded to reveal a drawing of a magic wand and the phrase: Wizard in Training.

Harry laughed, “It’s true, there are many shows on the telly and books about magic and witches.”

George snorted, “They even make custom shirts in the shop. I wanted to get one that said: My Daddy killed Voldemort and All I Got was This T-Shirt. Ignoring Harry’s glare, George shrugged and asked nonchalantly, “too soon?”

Harry pulled George into a tight hug, pretending he didn’t see the tears in his friend’s eyes.

The next night, Andi was happy to spend time with her grandson, allowing Harry to accompany George to the small flat above the shop. The older boy had changed it from the apartment he once shared with his twin to a workshop and potions lab. The men tested several bruise pastes and George demonstrated the modifications that he and Fred had come up with before marketing their own.

After closing the shop, Ron joined them, grumbling, “Ugh! It smells up here! It’s like being in Snape’s class again.”

“That greasy git taught me everything I know about potions,” George smirked, “and I wish he was alive so I could thank him for my profits.”

Harry bit his tongue as he tried not to mention that Snape was alive and he had seen him in person. He imagined how that conversation would go, ‘Yeah, he’s not dead. I totally saw Snape on holiday. He saved Teddy’s life.’ Then Ron and George’s mouths would drop open and yeah, this wasn’t going to happen.

“Harry, mate, you okay?” Ron asked.

“Huh?”

George clapped him on the shoulder, “Ron was talking to you for a while now and you were lost in thought.”

“Sorry, Ron. What were you asking me?”

“You didn’t get a Newt in Potions. Will that be a problem getting into a healer program?”

Shrugging, Harry started cleaning up the bruise pastes, “They recommend it but it’s not required. I will just have to take a few additional courses.”

Feeling guilty for keeping secrets from his closest friends, Harry excused himself and returned home to wallow.

Laying in his bed, wide awake, Harry remembered snippets from potions class over the years he spent at Hogwarts. He couldn’t stop thinking about Snape and their interactions. While the majority of their encounters were negative, Harry can’t help but feel positive about Snape.

Deciding to break his promise to himself, Harry discarded his idea of leaving Snape alone. Tomorrow, yes, tomorrow, he would write Snape a letter.

~O-O~

Ink splattered the parchment and Harry’s hands as he wrote, rewrote, and scratched through his many drafts. Teddy played on the floor, giggling as he ran to catch each discarded letter as if they were playing ball.

On his seventh attempt, Harry nodded to himself as he proofread the letter once more.

_Dear Professor Snape,_

_I know you don’t want to hear about the war or the wizarding world, but I wanted to be sure that you know that you are a hero, in my eyes, and in the eyes of the Wizarding World._

_You were declared innocent by Wizengamot and awarded Order of Merlin First Class._

_The sacrifices you made for me, for your students, for the Order of the Phoenix, for the entirety of the Wizarding World are appreciated and there are no words to express the magnitude of our gratitude._

_I had promised myself that I would not contact you, however, knowing you were not aware of what happened after you were attacked in the Shrieking Shack, well, I couldn’t help myself._

_Please let me know if you would like copies of the Daily Prophet or if you would like an anthology of battle and the trials afterward, Hermione wrote it and as you know she is very precise. But don’t worry, she did not include any personal details._

_Also, if you want a copy of your Order of Merlin First Class, I can ask Kingsley to bequeath it to me and I could bring it with me on our next holiday._

_Please do not be concerned about this letter revealing your location, I will secure it and place strong anti-location spells on it._

_Sincerely,_  
_Harry_

Siphoning the ink splatters from the parchment, Harry sealed it and cast the privacy and anti-location charms. Gathering up the balled up parchments from the floor of the study, Harry distracted Teddy with a book as he summoned Kreacher.

“Master Harry,” the house elf bowed slightly.

“I need to get this letter to a person in secret and this person lives too far for Lia to fly. Do you have any advice on how to send this?”

Kreacher’s long droopy ears twitched as he thought, “Gringotts has owls that they can disillusion.”

“Yeah, um, I don’t think I am welcome at Gringotts after the whole dragon thing.”

Emitting a long-suffering sigh, Kreacher nodded, “Master Harry need his friends.”

“You can call them Hermione and Ron, you know.” Then Harry muttered under his breath, “at least he stopped calling them Mudblood and Blood Traitor. But the goblins do not like her or Ron. I don’t want to ask Andi; she’ll become suspicious.”

Considering his options, Harry decided to ask Neville. Scribbling out a short note, Harry sent Lia to deliver it.

The next afternoon, Neville stopped by for a short visit. He joined them for tea on the back patio while Harry explained the situation as best he could without revealing anything about Snape.

“It’s no problem, Harry,” Neville said as he played with Teddy in the sandbox, “Once I give the letter to the goblins, the outer envelope will disintegrate and only they will see the name and location. My grandmother prefers to use the Gringotts disillusioned owls when writing about anything sensitive.”

“I really appreciate your help. I am still banned from going on the premises.”

Neville laughed, “Bloody right you are. Now, can I please tend to your garden? You shouldn’t have the Bouncing Bulb’s near the Shrivelfigs. And I don’t think the Fanged Geranium is safe for Teddy to be around.”

~O-O~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, Harry resisted contacting Snape for several weeks, that counts for something, right? Hehehe! 
> 
> I imagine the goblins at Gringotts are not to pleased with Harry after the whole breaking in and then breaking out with a dragon incident...
> 
> Come say Hi on Tumblr:  
> <http://goodgodhenry.tumblr.com/>


	20. Chapter 20

~O-O~

Severus resumed his solitary life on the island, desperately trying to suppress his memories of his previous life. The recent reminder in the form of Harry Potter was hard to forget. Despite years of practice at ignoring his past, this time it was not possible. He woke in the dead of night, clutching his neck and struggling to breathe more often than not. 

He had come to the island by way of Wales, then trekking all over Europe, leaving his old life behind. He had woken up on the floor of Shrieking Shack when the anti-venom had finally kicked in. Blood had gushed from his neck as he cast Vulnera Sanentur on his wound, screaming as the gashes knit together. 

His body weak from blood loss, pain, and damage from the venom, he laid on the filthy floor wishing for death. Minutes seemed to be hours as he fought to keep himself alive. Too weak to use his magic, his hands trembled as they searched his pockets for blood replenishing and pepper up potions. 

Finally, as his body stabilized, he dragged himself from the ground and stumbled out of the dingy shack. He trudged around the building and fell to his knees by the shrubbery along the west wall. Thorns cut into his hands and forearms as he reached for his emergency portkey. The dusty butterbeer bottle shone bright before transporting him to a small solitary cottage in Wales. 

Using the last of his energy, Severus cast protection spells around his safe house before losing consciousness on the wooden floor. 

Almost a whole day passed before he woke. His body stiff, his stomach in knots, Severus dragged himself to the bathroom. He ripped his spoiled clothing from his body as he filled the cast iron tub with water. Casting an extra hot warming charm, he climbed into the water. Sweat, blood, and filth dirtied the water. Vanishing the water, Severus refilled the tub and began scrubbing at his body with a small cake of soap. 

When his body was clean, he applied dittany to the scratches on his arms. Avoiding his own eyes in the mirror, he examined the gashes on his neck. The Vulnera Sanentur spell had closed the open wounds but the edges were ragged. Severus spread more dittany on his neck, watching as the edges of the snake bites sealed tighter leaving raised red lines. Until he had the equipment to make a scar potion, he would need to cast a glamour when in public. 

Severus had stayed at the cottage for almost a week before apparating to close to town. Walking to the edge of a small village where he had buried a portkey, Severus used a small section of a rusted pipe to make his way to France. For two months, he crisscrossed across Europe, creating portkeys and apparating, never staying in one place for more than four days. 

Confident that he was safe, Severus traveled to the island that Lily had once told him about. Making quiet inquiries, he found a bungalow for sale. Finally, he had found a home, free of his past. 

Well, he scoffed, that had lasted about six months before Potter had shown up; ruining his safe place, his sanctuary. He couldn’t get that blasted boy out of his head and now, the shimmer of a disillusioned owl was circling his home carrying a letter. 

~O-O~

With summer in full swing, Harry decided it was the perfect time to visits Hogwarts. He drafted letters to his past instructors and sent them with Lia. Debating if he should bring Teddy along for a full day visit, Harry found his answer in a reply from Headmistress McGonagall. She requested that he address her as Minerva and to please bring along Young Master Lupin. 

Gussy packed a large bag for Teddy and was not amused when Harry her it was too much. She leveled him with a stern look, “Master Teddy be needing a nap and healthy meals.”

Quickly apologizing to the tiny elf, Harry thanked her for her efforts before stepping into the floo with Teddy.

“Harry!” Minerva called out as he stepped out of her fireplace and into her office. Her voice softened, “and this must be Teddy.” 

Babbling happily, Teddy reached for her and was thrilled as she bounced him in her arms. 

Harry looked around her office, noting the changes from Dumbledore and Snape’s times. He almost snorted when he saw the moving portraits of previous headmasters and the static painting of Snape. 

“Stubborn man,” she tutted, “refusing to appear in his portrait. I’ve apologized for my behavior towards him from the time he was a child until he was headmaster. I even told him about the Order of Merlin but he still won’t appear.”

Unsure of how to respond to her, Harry nodded dumbly.

“What is your plan for today?” Minerva asked as she released Teddy so he could explore her office. 

Thankful that she didn’t have shiny breakables, Harry remembered destroying Dumbledore’s office after Sirius had been ripped away from him. 

Noting Harry’s wide eyes and trance-like state, Minerva called his name a few times before he shook his head, “sorry, memories.”

“Yes, I can understand that,” she said as she called a house elf for tea. She gestured for Harry to serve himself while she presented Teddy with a chocolate biscuit, “Now, tell me what you are doing these days, other than being a parent.”

Harry poured tea for the both of them and accioed a flannel from Teddy’s bag to wipe up the baby’s face and hands, “I haven’t done much since I took the NEWTs but I recently became interested in healing so I am looking at different programs.”

Minerva nodded briskly, “I will be happy to provide you recommendations when you are ready to apply.” 

“Ta,” Harry gulped his tea before placing his cup haphazardly on the tray. Rushing across the room, he pulled Teddy from the third row on the bookshelf. 

Clearing her throat, her eyes twinkled as she spoke, “You are welcome anywhere in the castle but I would steer clear of the library.” 

Imagining Madam Pince’s reaction to Teddy passion for climbing bookshelves and mouthing the corners of books, Harry agreed. 

Walking around the castle he had called home for so many years, Harry pointed out the moving portraits and the ghosts to an unimpressed Teddy. Mr. Peeves, however, delighted the baby with his antics and Harry couldn’t wait to get away from him. 

Finally outside, Harry cast a drying charm on both of them before making their way to Hagrid’s hut. After a bone-crushing hug from his friend, Harry worried as the large man reached for Teddy. Surprisingly gentle, Hagrid cuddled Teddy and introduced him to Fang. 

The next two hours were filled with squeals from a very happy one year old as they romped through the grounds along the edge of the Forbidden Forest and the lake. 

As Harry and Teddy made their way to the infirmary, Peeves guided their path with bubbles that made sound effects as they popped. Teddy’s giggles echoed through the empty hallways. Unfortunately, the poltergeist also added a variety of noxious scents to the bubbles that almost had Harry casting bubble head charms on himself and the baby. 

Meeting them at the door of the medical ward, Poppy flicked her wand and the poltergeist bounced off an invisible barrier, “Come, come. Let me see you.” 

As the mediwitch cuddled Teddy, Harry noticed she was discreetly casting diagnosis charms on both of them. 

“I assure you, Poppy, we are both healthy.” 

Frowning at being caught, she changed the topic, “let’s have lunch while we talk.”

Two house elves appeared with trays. They peered around each other as they set a table in the corner of the room, sneaking looks at Harry and Teddy. 

Harry unpacked a magical seat for Teddy, setting him at the table with the food Gussy had packed for him. 

Over their meal, Poppy reviewed Harry’s notes on the healer programs and passed them back to him, “I agree with your final list of schools. Do you want to go abroad?”

Shrugging, Harry passed the brochure to her, “this one is the most prestigious program and Teddy and I can rent a home in Copenhagen but I really don’t want to leave London.”

“The Denmark Institute of Healing Arts is the best but they are quite rigid with their two year program. That wouldn’t leave you much time for Teddy.” 

Teddy squealed at the mention of his name then grasped his noodles with both hands, shoveling them into his mouth. 

“That leaves the schools in Toulouse, London, and Cambridge,” Harry remarked as he scribbled out Copenhagen, “and honestly, I don’t want to go abroad.”

“So France is out. Cambridge is close enough to use the floo and you could walk to St. Mungo’s.” Poppy finished her lunch and flipped through the brochures, “Ah, Healer Chanda at Cambridge is a superb teacher but Healer Thomas has made many breakthroughs with dark curses.”

Placing a few bite-size pieces of tomato in front of Teddy, Harry turned back to Poppy, “Both programs seem evenly matched.”

With Teddy drooping in his chair, Harry agreed as he tried to wipe down the baby’s hands and face. 

Poppy took the flannel from his hand, “Eat, Harry. I will clean up Teddy.”

After changing Teddy’s diaper, she passed him back to Harry as she charmed a hospital bed into a crib. 

Harry put Teddy down, pressing kisses to his forehead. He covered the baby with a soft blanket and patted his back as he continued chatting with Poppy. 

“Do you have a specific program in mind? Your letter mentioned you want to work in pediatrics.”

“Yeah, I would like to work with children but there are so many choices,” Harry pushed his glasses up his nose, “Hermione mentioned St. Mungo’s is adding a mind-healing program.”

“Do you remember Hannah Abbott? She was in your year.”

“Yes, of course.”

“She’s in the St. Mungo’s program and working through the mind-healing program with muggle doctors and healers. Perhaps you can reach out to her,” Poppy recommended.

A few hours later, Harry was back in the Headmistress’ office, feeling relieved as he was closer to finding the right school for him and his family situation. Teddy waved both his hands at Minerva, shouting “Ba-Bye.” 

“Bye-bye, Love. Bye-bye.” 

As Harry stepped into the floo, he committed this moment to memory, vowing to tell Ron that their stern professor was nothing but a softie. 

~O-O~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say Hi on Tumblr:   
> <http://goodgodhenry.tumblr.com/>


	21. Chapter 21

~O-O~

At Poppy’s urging, Harry sent off a short note to Hannah Abbott to ask her if she was willing to discuss why she had chosen St. Mungo's’ Healer Program. He was confident in his narrowed the list of programs (just the two local ones) but he didn’t want to commit without more information. He just needed to make a decision and complete an application before the upcoming deadline. 

For the remainder of the day, Harry kept himself busy with Teddy and more renovations to the house. He had expanded the elves quarters despite their complaints and combed through a charms book in the library to enchant a fake window in each of their interior rooms. Teddy accompanied Harry into the small spaces, toddling through and cuddling with Gussy. 

Nodding to himself as he crossed off another item on the list, Harry had many more renovations left including Sirius’ bedroom. Despite having used it as his own bedroom in the past, Harry hadn’t made any changes. When Harry had moved into the master bedroom, he left the old room exactly as it was: a shrine to a rebellious teenage Sirius.

Charging himself up and losing to his emotions, Harry decided to make tea before addressing what he wanted to do with the room let alone the rest of the house. Passing Teddy a cup of milky tea, he doctored his own cup as he considered his home and how far it had come after he stopped wallowing at the bottom of a firewhiskey bottle.

Cleaning the home of filth and magical creatures hadn’t been hard since a majority of the work had been done years before under Mrs. Weasley’s guidance. He had taken care of that pretty quickly after Teddy had come to live with him. 

Now, he wanted to rid the home of dark charms and decorations. He asked around about how to remove the portraits fixed to the walls with sticking charms and Kingsley had replied with a recommendation, offering to send a witch who specializes in dark artifacts. 

The next morning, a tall thin woman in dark robes moved about the house silently, removing the silenced portrait of Walburga Black and the other portraits, the mounted heads of deceased house elves, and the troll leg serving as an umbrella stand. The items seemed to vaporize but the black trunk by the front door seemed to groan and shimmy as each object disappeared. 

Harry directed the woman to the sitting room where the Black Family Tapestry stuck to the wall, people’s names burned off. “My house elf, Kreacher, would like to keep this in his room. Do you know anyone who can restore it and move it?”

He felt a bit unnerved when the woman flicked her wand lazily and strands of golden and black silk wove themselves into the tapestry until it was restored to its former glory. Another wiggle from her wand and the tapestry rolled itself up and off the wall. 

The woman left, dismissing Harry attempt to pay her or send a bank draft. She disapparated on the front stoop as he tried to convince her to at least take a pouch of galleons. 

“It was downright spooky,” Harry told George later that night, “she never spoke a word the entire time.” 

They were sitting in a large booth, drinking lagers in a muggle pub. George shrugged and took a sip, “sounds like the creepy Unspeakables. Dad use to talk to them, well at them, in the lifts at the Ministry and they didn’t so much as twitch.”

As the pub grew crowded, a group of friends asked if they could join them. 

“Budge over, Mate,” Harry slid closer to George as they accommodated two women and one man. 

“I’m Simon, these ladies are Maggie and Julie.” The sandy-haired man shook hands with them, “Thanks for letting us join you, there isn’t a seat left in here. I’ll buy a round of beers and crisps.”

For the next two hours, Harry forgot about the wizarding world, healer programs, and raising Teddy. He was enjoying getting to know Maggie but he couldn’t help leaning into Simon as he spoke into Harry’s ear, adjusting for the volume in the pub. 

~O-O~

“Okay, I think I am bisexual.” 

Hermione rolled her eyes at Harry, “Didn’t we already have this conversation?”

“Yeah, yeah, but I thought I was mostly gay then.” 

“Have you done any research?” She asked, exasperated. 

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I did. Would you like to know about interspecies breeding that resulted in centaurs?” Harry asked snarkily. When she seemed placated that he had done his homework, he continued, “I was worried that I was suppressing being gay and Cho was just a schoolboy crush.”

“And the whole relationship with Ginny was more pretending?”

“No, the romantic feelings including sexual attraction for Ginny was real.” Harry pushed his glasses up his nose, sinking into cushions of the couch, “I was freaking out when I thought I might be gay so I wasn’t thinking clearly. I have been meeting people and I think I am bisexual.”

“Huh,” pleasantly surprised, Hermione kissed Harry on the cheek, “I am so proud of you. Now, tell me about the people you met.” 

“George and I went to that little pub over by King’s Cross and we met these friends. Muggles. I really liked them but I don’t think I want to date any of them but it was nice to meet new people. Not just dancing and kissing; real conversations, real people, and um, real feelings.”

Hermione raised her eyebrow and Harry blushed.

“I was really attracted to Maggie and Simon,” he confessed, “they are both sexy but in totally different ways.” 

“That’s great. Will you see them again?” 

“Yeah, I’d like it if you and Ron came along next time.”

“That will be fun and give Ron more exposure to the Muggle World outside of my parents.” Hermione’s focus shifted, “Harry, now tell me about which healer programs you have decided on.”

Groaning, Harry tipped sideways on the couch and covered his face with a cushion. 

~O-O~

Harry hustled down the street towards the Leaky Cauldron. He had misjudged how much time passed at The Burrow, admiring Bill and Fleur’s baby, Victoire. He stumbled in through the door as Hannah Abbott emerged from the floo at the back of the pub. Both of them were flushed and said, “Sorry, I’m late,” at the same time. 

Laughing, they sat down at a table and looked at the lunch menu. Harry didn’t know Hannah well. All he could remember from school was that she had been nice and that her mother had been killed by Death Eaters. So he made small talk until Tom came to take their orders. 

After sitting in uncomfortable silence after Tom left, Hannah fiddled with her napkin and got to the point, “you wanted to ask me about the healer programs?”

“Um, yes. I have narrowed down my choices to Cambridge and St. Mungo's. Madam Pomfrey said you had chosen St. Mungo's and you might be able to give me some advice.”

Hannah’s smile flickered, “I wanted to stay close to home; my father isn’t doing well. He is muggle-born so he knew about mental health. He began seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist after my mother was murdered.” She shrugged, “He said he felt like the therapy wasn’t working well enough because he couldn’t disclose details about her murder or about the wizarding world.”

Harry nodded along, “Yeah.” 

“So when I heard that St. Mungo’s was building a program that incorporated muggle mental health treatments with healing, I knew I had found the right school.”

Tom brought by their drinks, pumpkin juice for both of them. Hannah took a long sip and then stared at the battered tabletop, tracing the wood grain with her finger. 

Deciding to lighten the mood, Harry asked her about the length of the program, “I know it’s usually a two-year program but do you think they will allow me to stretch it out? I have adopted my godson and I don’t think I can commit to a full course load.”

“Well, my program is three years since they are still building up the mind healing courses so I think you may just have to ask,” Hannah took another sip, “Your godson, is that Teddy?”

“Yes, he is Lupin and Tonks’ son.”

Smiling openly now, Hannah clapped her hands, “Neville told me about him. He said he was adorable.” 

Bragging, Harry couldn’t stop himself from telling Hannah about Teddy’s latest exploits, “he is the reason I want to learn about healing.”

They were interrupted again as Tom brought by their lunches. They thanked him and the bald man bowed slightly before leaving them.

“Both schools have a strong pediatrics program.”

Sighing dejectedly, Harry replied, “I know. Tuition is about the same. Since I can floo to Cambridge, the distance isn’t an issue. Should I flip a coin?”

“Maybe take a tour of both schools, meet the professors and see if that helps.”

“That’s what Hermione said.”

Hannah laughed at him, “you should by now that you should always listen to Hermione Granger.” 

~O-O~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The moral of this story - Hermione is always right! 
> 
> Come say Hi on Tumblr:   
> <http://goodgodhenry.tumblr.com/>


	22. Chapter 22

~O-O~

At first, Severus wasn’t going to open the letter he had accepted from the Gringotts’ owl. The boy had enough sense to use a secure method of contacting him but what did he want, Severus asked himself. He flipped the envelope around in his hands, sensing the privacy charms.

The resting owl watched him with its large yellow eyes as he paced around his small home, grumbling to himself. Potter had assured him that he would not contact him again, and he had shown restraint after the baby’s illness. The werewolf’s child was healthy; at least he had been a month ago.

He wasn’t a healer, if the baby was sick again then Potter needed to find appropriate care. Severus dropped the letter on the table and started to walk away. He could swear the owl was judging as it stared at him, unblinking.

Huffing, Severus snatched it off the table and opened the envelope.

“Dear Professor Snape,” he read aloud, “I am not your damn professor, Potter.”

He scanned through the letter quickly and rolled his eyes. The child wasn’t ill and the boy just wanted to tell him that he was a hero. This time, when he dropped the letter on the table, he was able to walk away.

Continuing his day, Severus took the long path into town to purchase groceries and returned along the same route. He cooked his lunch and started preparing dinner, feeding small nibbles to the owl. It hooted in appreciation and hopped along the kitchen counter to peer into the lined up bowls. He found himself narrating his actions as he diced, julienned, and measured out ingredients. Perhaps he had been alone too long.

Over the next two days, the owl remained at his home; vacillating between judging him or being entertained by him. Each time he reread the letter, he would comment to the owl about a different section, “worthless Order of Merlin. What has an Order of Merlin done for anyone?” and “as if I would ever voluntarily to read one of Granger’s regurgitated ramblings on purpose.”

He wasn’t going to write back. He had no intention of starting a conversation with Potter. Severus rolled his eyes, that idiot boy would like that, sending letters back and forth like pen pals.

“I am not responding. You are welcome to stay here but I will not be sending a response,” he informed the owl.

The owl hooted at him condescendingly.

~O-O~

It had been well over a week since Harry sent the letter to Snape. If the man was planning on replying, he would have by now. Debating his next step, he decided to wait a little longer before sending him another letter. He had enough on his mind between schooling and Teddy’s care.

After touring both medical schools and meeting many of the professors, Harry had chosen St. Mungos. They had not only offered a self-paced program but they were also trying to introduce modern medicine from mind healing to vaccines.

Hermione was proud of him, as she informed him numerous times over tea, lunch, and several letters. Harry thought she was overcompensating because she was heading to Australia in just a few days. He tried to reassure her that not only would he be fine, but Ron would be as well.

Instead, she requested the course catalog for St. Mungos and drafted a four-year course load rather than the standard two. Checking in with Ron, he found that she had been micromanaging him as well. Ron also mentioned that she had requested financial statements from George for Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes and wanted to come up with an international expansion plan. Harry quickly set up a night out at the pub for Hermione.

Now, he had to consider what to do about Teddy while he was in school most of the week. While his healing program was reduced, he still had to be in class four days a week, leaving around three in the afternoon rather than 5:00 p.m.

Harry worried about burdening Gussy with an active one year old who was almost her size. He invited Andi to tea so he could discuss this with her and reminding himself that Mrs. Weasley would be happy to watch Teddy if Andi was unable.

Andi played with Teddy until it was his nap time. Harry asked Gussy to put the sleepy-eyed toddler down while he spoke with Andi.

“As you know, I am going to start studying to become a healer.”

Rolling her eyes at him, Andi crossed her legs and leaned back on the couch, “why are you being so formal, Harry? Just spit it out.”

Harry huffed in annoyance, “I was trying to be polite.” When her stern gaze didn’t waver, he continued, “I will be gone Monday through Thursday from nine to three. I was going to ask if you could care for Teddy part of that time so I don’t overburden Gussy.”

Clapping her hands together, Andi exclaimed happily, “this is just perfect.”  
“Are you sure? He can be quite a handful.”

“Yes, and if I am having an off day, Gussy can watch him.”

Hiding his relief, Harry busied himself with the tea, “I didn’t want to impose but I also didn’t want to not ask you.”

Andi accepted the cup and took ahold of Harry’s hand, “I know I couldn’t raise him and I am still struggling. Harry, I know my limitations and I promise to tell you if this doesn’t work for me.”

“Good, then let’s go over the schedule.”

~O-O~

“Blimey, Harry, I don’t know how you got her out of the house,” Ron whispered as he held the pub door open.

Harry brushed past him, whispering back, “I told her I needed more advice on my crushes.”

Ron sniggered as they caught up with Hermione, scanning the people for Harry’s new friends.

In a corner booth, large enough for their group, Harry pointed out George had already arrived and sitting with Simon, Maggie, and Julie.

Introductions were made and Hermione quickly made friends with Simon as Julie interrogated Ron and George about their large red-headed family. Maggie slid out of the booth, dragging Harry to the bar to order beers.

“Glad you could make it, Harry. If I have to listen to Simon talk about politics for another minute, I will lose my mind.”

Preoccupied with Maggie’s short dress and tall boots, he nodded dumbly.

Unphased by his lack of response, Maggie continued, “Julie is an only child so she is fascinated by large families. Your Hermione and Ron are together, right?”

Maggie called out their order to the bartender and turned around to face Harry, “what?”

“Uh, you look lovely, Maggie,” Harry stammered as he looked into her dark eyes.

“Thank you,” she blushed then she reached towards him, pushing the hair from his face, “but I thought you were interested in Simon.”

Harry found himself matching her blush before stammering out, “well, you are both quite fetching.”

Irritated by their awkward flirting, the bartender cleared his throat and pointed at their drinks.

Bright red, they returned to their table with beers.

The conversations flowed as they all got to know one another. Julie and Maggie were heading off to college in America while Simon was staying in local to attend Uni. Ron and George casually mentioned a family shop, keeping the details to a minimum.

After Hermione spoke of her future studies in law, carefully omitting magical creatures, the group turned to Harry.

“I’d like to study medicine but for right now I am focusing on the core classes.”

“Oh, that reminds me; Mum wants to know if you want her to watch Teddy.”

Uncomfortable with all the eyes on him, Harry ran his hand through his hair. He answered Ron, “Um, no, Andi is going to watch him,” before addressing his new friends, “Teddy is my son. He’s just turned one.”

“Pictures?” Julie asked and both Maggie and Simon leaned in, smiling.

“I’ll bring some next time,” Harry promised.

This time George dragged Harry to the bar for the next round, “You worry too much.”

“Can't help it. Everyone judges me. Poor little orphan in hand-me-down clothes, the boy who lived, the boy who lies, the boy who lived twice, and now I’m either a hero who adopted his godson or an irresponsible teenage father who couldn’t keep it in his pants.”

“Simon, Maggie, and Julie are not judging you. Well, Simon was totally judging your ass as you walked away.” After a moment, George spoke quietly, “We knew they were the good sort when they didn’t say anything about my ear.”

Harry threw his arm around George’s shoulders, “they do seem like good people.”

By the third round, Hary found himself leaning into Simon, appreciating the scent of his cologne while still admiring Maggie’s long dark hair ripple as she laughed.

George elbowed him in the side, “not subtle, Mate.”

At the end of the evening, Simon had invited them to karaoke next Friday night. Ignoring the looks of horror on Harry and Hermione’s faces, Ron and George readily agreed, not knowing what they had agreed to.

After Harry explained, Ron dropped his face into his hands groaning, “this is worse than dancing.”

~O-O~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been struggling in finding Snape’s voice and then switching back to Harry. The struggle is real… Writing is hard… Wahhh wahhh wahhh…


	23. Chapter 23

~O-O~

The night before Hermione left for Uni, her parents hosted a party in their home, inviting her muggle relatives as well as her wizarding friends. Harry arrived with Teddy on his hip only to lose him to Dr. Jean Granger and Mrs. Weasley. The other Dr. Granger, ‘call me Phillip,’ offered him a lager and introduced him to Nana Granger. 

A half hour later, when he joined Neville and Ginny in the sitting room, he confided in them quietly, “I see where Hermione gets her tenacity. The Queen, the prime minister, and parliament are not ready for the wrath of Nana Granger.” 

Chatting with his friends, Harry occasionally checked on Teddy. The one year old was getting cuddles and snacks from everyone but he was only interested in one thing, Crookshanks. Teddy crouched on the floor and pet the cat. He tried to catch its tail as the cat swished and flicked it out of reach. Harry reminded the baby to be gentle but he knew that Crookshanks could handle himself.. 

Ron dropped heavily on the couch, pushing Harry into Neville’s side, “My life is over.”

“Don’t be so dramatic. You can visit her,” Ginny admonished her brother.

“I know! I meant that cat,” gesturing towards Teddy and the cat. Ron told them that somehow he had been roped into taking Crookshanks while Hermione was away at school. Harry had to bite the inside of his cheek so he would not laugh out loud. 

As the evening drew to a close and guests headed home, Harry finally got to visit with Hermione. They ended up sitting on the floor, backs leaning against the couch where Teddy slept. 

“I am proud of you,” Harry hugged her close, “and I am going to miss you.”

She wiped away a tear, “we haven’t been apart like this for so long. It’s going to be like that horrid summer when Dumbledore didn’t let us see you.”

“No, it won’t! We only see each other a couple times a week now. We can still talk over the floo.” 

Hermione grumped, “it won’t be the same. Plus I have to meet all new people and you know how hard it is for me to make new friends.” 

Escaping from stacking chairs (specifically Phillip not allowing him to stack the chairs magically), Ron settled on the ground on Hermione’s other side and staged whispered, “she gets like this when she is stressed.”

Ignoring her smack to his arm, Ron bussed a kiss on her cheek, “You make new friends every time we go out. You became besties with Harry’s muggle friends in under 15 minutes.” 

“You will be fine. We will chat and visit every chance we get,” Harry promised. 

~O-O~

First day of school jitters made Harry question every decision he ever made in his short life. Maybe he should have let Voldemort kill him. He held Teddy a little closer and continued pacing.

“For Merlin’s sake, Harry, just go.” Andi admonished him as she stole the baby from his arms, “you will be fine. You already met most of the professors and the other students will be just as nervous as you are.”

Grumbling under his breath, Harry kissed Teddy’s cheek and hitched his bookbag higher on his shoulder, “Bye, Ted! Thanks for watching him, Andi.”

He stepped into the floo, dropping the powder as he called out “St. Mungo’s.” 

Waving hello to the Welcome Witch, Harry headed to the basement level classrooms. As he entered the dark and damp hallway, he wished he had chosen Cambridge instead. At least their healer program was held above ground. Scanning the doorways for room numbers, Harry made his way to his first class. 

Anatomy was mind-numbingly boring but Harry felt a sense of camaraderie with the other students as they rolled their eyes at the professor’s ‘humerus’ puns. 

When class ended, groups of students shuffled from the various classrooms into the small lunchroom. 

Hannah Abbott sat down next to Harry and sighed heavily, “Physiology.”

“Anatomy,” Harry replied.

House elves popped up with meal trays and the students dug in, barely making small talk. Harry had a feeling that he wasn’t the only one overwhelmed by the amount of information they were expected to learn by the end of the semester. 

As he finished his meal, Harry dreaded the idea of going to his next class. His previous potions experience hadn’t been positive, even under Slughorn’s tutelage, so he was pleasantly surprised by Potion Master Divya Blackthorne.

“Alright, let’s get the questions out of the way,” the tiny woman said after she welcomed them, “All of you previous Hogwarts students, you don’t need a Potions NEWT and you are not far behind in your studies.” 

Harry, Hannah, and Terry Boot all breathed a sigh of relief. 

Master Blackthorne laughed, “Yes, I am aware that Master Snape was hard to please but he was the best and smartest potion master in over a century. He pushed his OWL students to college-level work while his NEWT students were expected to produce at Potion Master levels.” 

Terry’s hand rose but the professor shook her head at him, “And, yes, I am aware that Master Slughorn didn’t push you at all.” 

She addressed the room at large, “this class will focus on potion mastery skills and future classes will focus on healing potions. If you do wish to earn your NEWT level, we have additional courses and tutoring available.” 

When Harry arrived home, a flustered Andi thrust Teddy into his arms, “your son refused to nap,” before packing up her bag to return home. “Poor boy isn't used to you being gone all day.” 

Andi kissed both their cheeks before leaving through the floo. 

Snuggling his cranky son, Harry offered to nap with him, “Come on, Ted. My head is killing me and you are tired. Let’s get a little nap in before dinner.”

“No sleep!” Teddy declared but within minutes of cuddling with Harry, they were both fast asleep. 

~O-O~

“For Merlin’s sake!” Severus said out loud as a shimmer crossed the sky. 

Canceling the charms, he allowed himself to smile as he recognized the Gringotts owl circling him before it swooped down and landed on the patio table. 

“It’s you again,” Severus ran a finger over the top of the owl’s head before relieving it of his load, “Another letter from Potter, eh?” 

This time Severus didn’t hesitate to open the letter, ripping the envelope open. “What is idiot boy blathering about this time? Maybe I got another Order of Merlin,” he told the owl.

He read the letter out loud, rolling his eyes, “does Potter think I’m his friend? He wants to be pen pals.”

The owl hooted at him as if it was answering back.

“Looks like Potter is in healing school. Oh, he has Divya as a professor. I wonder how long before he drives her batty.” 

As he moved through his day, he found himself telling the owl about meeting Divya Singh when he first started Hogwarts, “She was in her seventh year but she was very kind to me. She must have married Thomas Blackthorne. I never saw her after she graduated but she must have kept an eye on me, huh.” 

Over dinner, he shared his experiences with Divya with the owl, “Slughorn had her monitor me when I experimented in the potions lab on the weekends, at least until I proved myself competent. She was quite deft with a knife. Taught me which knife was best for each ingredient and how to get paper thin slices.” 

For a moment, he longed to write back, to connect with the world he left behind but as his hand twitched towards a quill on the counter, he huffed and stormed out of the cottage. His dark thoughts propelled him toward the beach. He stalked along the edge of the water, the owl flying silently beside him. 

~O-O~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say Hi on Tumblr:  
> <http://goodgodhenry.tumblr.com/>


	24. Chapter 24

~O-O~

School was exhausting. Between the classes themselves, then the reading, memorization, and study guides, Harry was overwhelmed. He didn’t recall being this exhausted during Hogwarts, even when studying for the OWLS and NEWTS. His frustration grew as he realized he was taking a lighter load than his classmates. Granted most students didn’t have an active and clingy one year old at home. 

Teddy had not adjusted to Harry’s new schedule. In fact, he was rebelling quite actively, giving Andi and Gussy a hard time and forgoing naps all together. Harry tried to keep his studying time until after the baby’s bedtime, focusing all his attention on Teddy but a cranky and overtired baby was wearing all of them out including himself.

Harry passed on going out with his new friends, visiting George and Ron, and barely scribbled out a reply to Hermione’s missive from Australia. 

Well, at least being busy and tired didn’t prevent him from worrying about Snape, he lied to himself. Snape hadn’t replied two his last two letters, not even a terse note telling him to stop writing. That was practically an engraved invitation to keep on writing. 

He desperately wanted to talk about Snape with someone but Hermione acted as if he had never confided in her. Perhaps it was too difficult for her to discuss Snape while keeping it a secret from Ron. 

“Master Harry, tea?” Kreacher stood in the doorway, a tray of biscuits and tea in hand, “You did not eat enough at dinner.”

After thanking Kreacher, Harry grumbled and flipped open his potion’s study guide. Despite cross-referencing his notes, he found the material difficult to understand. He had doubts about applying the concepts to the hands-on potion lab the next day. 

Sure enough, his potion along with five others filled the lower levels of St Mungo’s with noxious fumes. Master Blackthorne was unimpressed and assigned them to a mandatory learning lab. Harry rolled his eyes, it looked like he was going to be in remedial potion tutoring after all. 

“If only freaking Draco Malfoy could be there to mock me,” Harry muttered under his breath.

~O-O~

“Bloody hell!” 

Draco Malfoy cocked his eyebrow at Harry’s outburst, then ignored him to address the group, “I’ll be teaching this learning lab at Master Blackthorne’s request.”

Dumbfounded, Harry simply stared at his childhood rival, enemy, arch nemesis. Okay, maybe arch nemesis is a bit far, he thought. After seeing him at Hogwarts for their NEWTS, he hadn’t thought much about him. He had heard about small anecdotes about Draco from Andi but it was always abstract. Now, he was sitting in a small room with nowhere to look but at the boy who had made his schooling absolute hell, and now that boy was in charge of Harry’s schooling and future. 

Nodding along with the other students, Harry agreed to the tutoring schedule. He wanted out of the overly-warm room, away from Malfoy. 

Unsettled, Harry didn’t want to go home. He meandered through the city streets, unsure of where he was going. He wished he knew why he was panicked at the thought of being in a room with Malfoy. 

Stopping by WWW, he explained his odd reaction to George and Ron. The latter clapping him on the back, “you are in love with him, you have been obsessed with him since first year.”

“What? That is ridiculous, Ron.” Harry shoved his best friend, “I am not into Malfoy and even if I thought he was fit, there is too much bad blood between us.”

Continuing to scribble on a parchment, George didn’t bother looking up at them, “It’s not love or even attraction. I think Harry feels guilty about testifying at the trial. You have nothing to feel bad about, you were honest and he got probation because of you.” 

“I don’t know,” Harry scrubbed his hand through his hair, “I don’t think that it is it.” 

“Write to Hermione or maybe floo call her; she always has the answers,” Ron said before whining, “if you talk to her, tell her that Crookshanks destroyed my Cannon’s scarf this morning. Purely out of spite.”

George looked up this time, rolling his eyes, “you are not supposed to mix his wet food into his dry food. He is very particular.” 

Normally, the siblings’ banter would put a smile on Harry’s face but he just felt off. He headed out, calling “Later, Mates,” over his shoulder.

Trying to ignore his uneasiness, the gnawing in his stomach, Harry went home and relieved Gussy from watching Teddy. He played with the little boy in the garden then debated with himself about giving Teddy a bath now or after dinner. Needless to say, Teddy enjoyed two bath times with his rubber ducky. 

~O-O~

After putting Teddy’s to bed, Harry tried to write his thoughts down in a letter to Hermione but after three attempts, he decided to call her instead. He was glad they had mobile phones as he really didn’t feel like kneeling in front of the floo. 

Hermione made her time travel joke as she usually did, “it’s tomorrow here, you know,” and they chatted about Teddy and her Uni before she asked him why he called.

“It’s Malfoy.” Harry explained, “I was shocked to see him but I didn’t react like this when I saw him earlier in the year. I got hot and my shirt collar was too tight and I just wanted to leave.” 

As the silence grew, Harry blurted out, “and don’t say I fancy him, because I really don’t.”

A snicker escaped from Hermione, “I know you don’t fancy him, no matter Ron’s theories on your obsession with Draco. Plus, he’s straight. Harry, honestly, you don’t know why you reacted the way you did?”

She continued, “you are shrugging, aren’t you.”

“Yes.” 

“You know why you are reacting so strongly, just say it.” 

Soothing down the fabric on his fuzzy blanket, Harry ran his hand back up, raising it, “Fuck, Hermione, he doesn’t know Snape is alive. Only you and I know and Snape was his godfather and Draco misses him and I can’t tell him.”

“You’re rambling.”

“Damn Snape for putting me in this position.” 

Hermione sighed over the line, “I don’t think he intended to put you in this position, Harry. It was coincidental that you ran into him. He is in hiding.”

“Yeah, well, he should have hidden in a remote village in the Himalayas,” he grumbled, “maybe I’ll write him another note.” 

“What? You need to respect his privacy and leave that poor man alone.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Harry lied to Hermione, knowing full well that he would be sending Snape yet another letter, “Tell me about school?”

They chatted about their classes before talking about Teddy, Ron, and George. Soon, Hermione’s morning energy overwhelmed Harry as his bedtime had passed two hours earlier. Signing off, he promised to continue writing and calling her. 

Pulling his blanket up higher, Harry slid further down into his bed, allowing sleep to claim him.

~O-O~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say Hi on Tumblr:   
> <http://goodgodhenry.tumblr.com/>


	25. Chapter 25

~O-O~

Begrudgingly, Harry had to admit to himself that Malfoy is a good teacher. He broke down each simple step into three simpler steps, demonstrating as he spoke. Malfoy even spent an entire tutoring session explaining how each ingredient changes depending on how it is manipulated. 

Slicing, dicing, crushing, or grinding asphodel roots could change its outcome. Turning the roots into powder can tip the healing potion into a sleeping potion or even into the Draught of Living Death. 

After three weeks of intensive tutoring, Harry felt as if he had a stronger grasp on the potions from the actual potion making process to the theory. He looked forward to the application as it connected with healing. He said so under his breath not realizing Malfoy was standing nearby.

“You’ll get there,” the blond said quietly making Harry jump. 

Harry shrugged at Malfoy, “I guess, it’ll be a while before I get into the actual healing classes. It’s not bad though; everything is background knowledge.” 

Malfoy nodded in agreement, “you are building a solid foundation.”

Hours later, he recounted the conversation with Andi, “he is nothing like his old self. It’s as if he lost his personality. Either it’s gone flat or something. I think he’s depressed.”

“Draco’s probation doesn’t allow him to work. Master Blackthorne had to request an exception for him to tutor. Now that he has cleared the mansion of all traces of dark magic, he just spends all his time in the lower levels, experimenting with potions.”

“Lower levels is a nice way to say dungeon,” Harry retorted, unable to bite his tongue. Seeing Andi frown at his immature remark, he quickly apologized. 

“Most of his friends have left the country; he does write to a few but other than his mother or I, he is alone.” 

“So he is depressed,” Harry said mulishly. 

Andi tsked at him and changed the topic to Teddy’s latest antics. 

Malfoy was on his mind just as often as Snape was and Harry didn’t know what to do. He was caught in the middle. Despite his promise to Hermione to leave Snape alone, Harry found himself writing an encouraging letter, pleading with Snape to let Draco know he was alive before his writings turned into an angry rant. He felt much better as he stuffed the parchment into an envelope; finally sleeping through the entire night for the first time in weeks.

~O-O~

Gathering up George and Ron, Harry finally joined Simon for karaoke at a muggle bar. Simon stood up to greet them. As Harry reached for a handshake, Simon pulled him in for a half hug, back pat. Stepping back, Harry couldn’t help but blush as he caught Simon’s eyes. 

Simon reported that Maggie and Julie were loving America as Ron filled him in on Hermione’s college experience in Australia. 

“How about you? How is Uni going?” George asked Simon.

“Not bad. Honestly, it’s more relaxed than secondary school. Harry, how has it been for you?” 

Finishing a sip of his lager, Harry pouted, “Physiology is so hard. The nervous system is so complicated and I can’t remember half the terms. AND I am far behind in my chemistry course and I’ve started going to a learning lab so I have no time for anything but studying or Teddy. I’m glad that Teddy is so young because I can barely form sentences at the end of the day.” 

Ron clapped him on the shoulder, “Tonight, we are not going to think about studying. Let’s drink and try karaoke.”

“Hear, hear,” George, Simon, and Harry clinked their beers with Ron’s.

Thirty minutes later, Harry had tears streaming down his face as he clutched his stomach, laughing hysterically. Ron butchered yet another song on the tiny stage at the back of the bar as Simon filmed him on his phone. 

“It’s like he hasn’t heard any of these songs before…” Simon bumped George’s shoulder, “he doesn’t know any classics or any of today’s hits.” 

George caught Harry’s eye and they had a silent conversation before determining that they couldn’t tell Simon about the wizarding world, at least not yet.

Harry went to buy another round as George explained that they were raised without much exposure to pop culture. 

As the evening came to a close, the wizards said goodbye to Simon and returned to Harry’s. Kreacher was delighted in providing them snacks, commenting that he was pleased not to see them drinking firewhiskey anymore.

Ron looked at his brother and best friend who both looked guilty.

“Drinking alone sucked,” George admitted. 

“I thought I had a real problem for a while,” Harry told them, “it made it easier to not think, you know.”

“Then I felt like shit about how much I drank and how alone I was,” added George. 

Dragging them from the chairs around the room, Ron maneuvered them on the couch; his arm around each man, “you are never alone. You will always have me.” 

After cuddling for several minutes, Ron stumbled over his words as he asked them how much they drink.

“A couple of lagers when we go out.”

“Yeah, same here. I haven’t touched the firewhiskey in months,” Harry hugged Ron closer but George tugged him back until the three men were wrestling on the floor, casting tickling charms. Their giggles turned into whoops of laughter before turning into shouting. 

Suddenly, they all fell apart, their bodies stiff as Gussy stood over them with a grumpy Teddy in her arms. “Me cast quiet charm on baby’s room but you make too much noise and he woke up,” she said sternly.

Harry felt her magic lift and he jumped up to take Teddy, “I’m sorry, Sweetheart.” 

The Weasley brothers apologized to Gussy and kissed Teddy’s chubby cheeks before making their way to the Floo. 

Smoothing Teddy’s hair, Harry thanked the tiny elf for taking care of the baby, “I’ll tuck him in with me tonight.”

~O-O~

It was like clockwork, Severus thought as the Gringotts owl shimmered through his wards, every few weeks, another letter from Potter. 

Bringing the owl into the kitchen, he set it up with water and some food before waving off the protection spells on the envelope. As he started to read, he scoffed at Potter’s update on his schooling and Draco Malfoy of all people. As he continued to read, the letter devolved into a childish yet angry rant about Draco’s state of mind and loneliness. Instead of rolling his eyes or throwing the letter away, Severus found himself sitting on the kitchen floor, the letter crinkling in his tight grip. 

He often thought of his godson but he never considered his absence would leave a hole in Draco’s life. He never believed Draco would spiral downward into depression. He knew he had failed in much of his life but he never thought that he had failed Draco. 

And the worst part was Harry Freaking Potter had been the one who knew him all along. He had called him a coward after Dumbledore’s death, at his own hand no matter what the old nutter thought before he demanded Severus kill him. He was a coward. He had faked his death and left smoldering ashes and destruction behind him.

Draco was left alone to deal with the aftermath of the war and his parent’s decisions. His father was in prison, his mother was desperately trying to make up for decades of bad decisions, and his friends had fled the country. Just like Severus had fled.

Alone, Draco pushed himself forward. He had remained driven and achieved all that Severus knew he could and the boy had done it on his own. Severus wasn’t there to help him prepare for his Newts or cleanse the manor of dark magic. He wasn’t there to testify on Draco’s behalf, leaving him at the mercy of the Wizengamot and now the boy was only working because of Divya’s intervention on behalf of a fellow member of Slytherin. 

He had abandoned Draco and he wasn’t even aware of the impact of his selfish decision until Potter had pointed it out. 

The day passed as he sat on the ground, his body stiff as his head throbbed. Determined to correct his mistakes, Severus dragged himself from the floor and stumbled around his home in the dark, searching for parchment. 

~O-O~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things may be looking up for Harry but Snape’s not doing so great...


	26. Chapter 26

~O-O~

Rubbing his itchy eyes, Severus collapsed back in his armchair. He blinked through the smokey haze that filled his small cottage and rubbed his eyes again. He flung his hand towards the windows and they all flew open wandlessly, allowing the smoke to escape. He had been drafting a letter to Potter and casting incendios as each piece of parchment was more pathetic than the one before.

He knew he couldn’t write directly to Draco but he also didn’t want Potter breaking the news either. That boy had no finesse. Merlin, that boy still cannot control his emotions as his rage-fueled letter indicated.

Severus thought back to their occomulucy lessons when he had told Potter that only fools wear their hearts on their sleeves. Now, he needed to ask for Harry’s assistance and somehow to convince him to tell Draco without becoming emotional.

The Gringotts owl hopped up the arm of the chair until it was at eye level, hooting quietly. Severus smoothed his finger across the bird’s head, “I’ll try again. You can stay a little longer? Deliver my letter tomorrow?”

The owl moved forward until it was in Severus’ arms, cradled against his chest.

“Great, now I am overly attached to this stupid owl,” Severus rubbed his face on the owl’s head and grumbled. “I’ll have to write a letter to Gringotts too, see if they will allow me to adopt you. I’m not an easy man to live with,” he trailed off as the owl trilled at him.

Tucking the bird into his left arm, he accioed several parchments and began the arduous process of writing letters to Potter and the goblins.

~O-O~

Harry’s floo lit up on a Wednesday night, interrupting the rousing game of cars and plushies that Teddy had invented. Glad for the break, Harry welcomed a harried George as Teddy yelled ‘Orge!’ at the top of his lungs.

George was in an excitable mood. He swung Teddy around and threw him in the air.

“He just finished dinner; I would set him down before he throws up on you.”

Quickly adjusting his hold on Teddy, George hugged him close before putting him back on the floor with his toys, “Harry, Harry, Harry, have I got news.”

Smiling at his friend, Harry gestured towards the couch and they both sat down, “go on then.

“I asked her to dinner and she said yes.”

“The woman at the Daily Prophet?”

George filled him in on the woman, Helena, that handled WWW’s advertisements, and their plans for dinner on Friday.

They were interrupted by a Gringotts owl with a letter for Harry. After removing the protective charms, Harry’s breathing shuttered as recognized Snape’s spidering handwriting.

The shock must have shown on his face as George stood up and began to cross the room, “all right there, Mate?”

“Uh, yeah, I just need to go read this? Can you watch Teddy? Or I can call Gussy?” rambled Harry.

“It’s fine. Go, I’ll watch the little man.”

Focusing on being steady on his feet, Harry made his way to his study before collapsing into the chair. Despite wanting responses to his letters, he certainly didn’t expect Snape to write back. Carefully, he opened the envelope and read the short missive.

_“Dear Mr. Potter,_

_Given current circumstances, I cannot contact Mr. Malfoy directly. Would you act as an intermediary?_

_Inform him of my situation without alarming him or causing suspicions. If it is possible, let him know that I am exceedingly proud of him and I welcome visits when his probation ends._

_Please keep me apprised if able._

_Regards,_

_Severus T. Snape”_

Rolling his eyes at the message, Harry scoffed, “I wrote him two rolls of parchment and he gives me 15 centimeters. He is such a prat.”

Shoving the letter back in the envelope, he placed it in a drawer before casting a concealment charm.

“Well, at least he didn’t yell at me or tell me to stop writing to him. Of course, now I have to talk to Malfoy,” Harry continued talking to himself as he made his way back to the sitting room, “Okay, Teddy and George, we need to celebrate George’s soon-to-be date. How does everyone feel about cake?”

~O-O~

Harry waited until the rest of the students had left the tutoring session before he closed his notebook. Even with his head down, he could tell that Malfoy was watching him from the front of the room.

Reminding himself that he is a Gryffindor, Harry nodded at the other man, “Malfoy, do you have a few minutes? Perhaps we can get a pint? There is a muggle bar close by if you don’t mind muggles these days.”

Casting a skeptical look at Harry, Draco shook his head, “I’m under house arrest, Potter. I can only floo to St Mungos or the Ministry. And if I wasn’t, I would still decline your invitation and not because of muggles. We are not friends, Potter.”

Harry snorted indelicately, “that we can agree on. But there is something I need to tell you. It’s important.”

The men stared, sizing each other up before Draco sighed, “you can come to the manor, Mother won’t mind and lord know Aunt Andromeda would be delighted.”

“I can’t go back there,” Harry said simply but Draco understood the implications.

“I’ve stripped it of everything. The rugs, the furniture, nothing is the same since,” he trailed off before turning around. Draco gathered his books, parchments, and quills; placing each item in his bag carefully, “but I understand. There is a greenhouse on the edge of the property that has only been used by our house elves. Or I supposed we could talk here. I could ask Master Blackthorne if we can use her office.”

Considering the options, Harry didn’t like the idea of breaking the news at St. Mungos, he had really wanted the anonymity of a muggle bar. “The greenhouse is fine but you can’t tell your mother or Andi about this. Our meeting, I mean. What I tell you must remain a secret.”

Puzzled, Draco cocked his head to the side, “what are you going on about, Potter?”

When Harry didn’t respond other than a quirking of his eyebrows, Draco reached into his bag and ripped off a piece of parchment. He grabbed a muggle pen from Harry’s hand and jotted down a quick note, “Give me ten minutes to key you into the wards. This will get you to the greenhouse, it can’t be seen from the house.”

Draco shoved the parchment and pen into Harry’s hands before striding out the door.

“Bloody hell, I’m going to have to go back to Malfoy Manor,” Harry said in the empty classroom.

~O-O~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘Fools who wear their hearts proudly on their sleeves, who cannot control their emotions, who wallow in sad memories and allow themselves to be provoked so easily – weak people, in other words – they stand no chance against his powers! He will penetrate your mind with absurd ease, Potter!’ ~ Snape says this to Potter in Order of the Phoenix during their occlumency lesson.


End file.
